When you say that you will kill yourself and it will be all my fault, it is harassment. When you say that I must say that I love you or you will kill yourself, that is blackmail and harassment. The only thing that I have done is offered advice and tried to help you. Why are you doing this to me? What do I do?
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Thanks, Amakua. It just feels like it has been going on for an incredibly long time. He gets so angry. He threatens to hurt me at times. He hasn’t…but I don’t feel comfortable at all near him. I know I need to change things, but I am scared of what he’ll do if I’m not talking to him. It’s a horrid thing to be punished for trying to help someone.
Thanks,
Sono
Hey Kiddo…ahhh…I know…almost 17. Too young to have to deal with all this shit…but I’ve been there and made it…and so can you? I don’t think we’ve talked since February…but not sure. Did you ever read the comment on the post you made about me? The ending in particular…hahaha And then I didn’t see you again. Glad to finally get a chance to yak at ya.
Have you been able to make any positive changes since Feb? Truth is…I’m just thrilled you’re still hanging in here with the likes of us. I doubt you have been able to do anything but “tread water” with all the crap you are dealing with. I could tell you to run…but if you don’t think you deserve any better than this abusive, angry energy vampire…then my words will fall on deaf ears…now won’t it. Remember…I was an abused woman myself…key word…was. So I am not judging you…I have no room…I didn’t leave until I had been beaten unconscious 4 times in one night, almost ran over, and had a gun put in my face…so no judgement here…haha I just pray you are smarter than I was…and you can somehow get yourself free from the web you have allowed them to weave around you. You deserve to be loved and treasured…it has just not been your experience sadly….yet.
Bottom line…only person you need to help is you my love. It’s the other person’s responsibility to fix themselves…not yours. I’m just here for a quick bit while the babe is having a wee nap…but I will be back tonight if you are around. Would love to talk…and yeah…maybe even listen…hahaha
Lots of Love
Ama
Ama,
Treading water is a perfect way to describe the situation that I am in. At times I feel as if I will never be depressed again, that everything is right with the world, and that I am the happiest person on the planet. I get excited for a time when I will move on, move out, quit my job, make some sort of drastic, but beneficial change…but I can never make it happen. Everything plummets worse than it was before, usually, and I realize how much I have fucked everything up for myself. I am in one of those low places right now. In the past few months I have become rather icy toward all people in general, and I have started to reap the consequences of it. People rarely talk to me anymore, I don’t get invited out to events, and I am avoided because I am “negative,” or “no fun to be around,” or “never happy.” I want to change. I want to be happy. I don’t want to be trapped here forever. But at the same time I am not willing to stop the cutting, throw out the stash of pain killers and alcohol, or cut off ties with the people who hurt me the most. Everything is only okay if I am hurting myself in some way. I feel like everything I do should not be taken seriously because I am young. I feel as if I shouldn’t really have a problem. That I am a weak, attention whore. Basically, I am quite good at fucking things up for others, as well as myself.
Sono.
sono_libero,
Hey Kiddo…ahhh…I know…almost 17. Too young to have to deal with all this shit…but I’ve been there and made it…and so can you?
aw! just listen to Amakua2309.
good morning girl how’d you’d sleep last night dream of anything special?
Hey Sono_libero,
I’m sorry…I am exhausted…have to get some food and a wee nap before I get myself in trouble. I just wanted to let you know that I read your reply…and will reply to your reply…as soon as I can see to keyboard again…haha I will reply…but it could take me a wee while…and I didn’t want you to think I was avoiding you…haha. Lots of folks wish I would avoid them…now don’t they?
Back Later
Hope I catch you in real time soon….Lots of Love
Ama
Hey Sono,
If I could only say 50 or less words to you today…they would be this.
You can’t change the past…only how you accept it, understand it, deal with it, and then move on. Can’t make positive changes in the present or future…if emotionally you are trapped in your past.
Here if you want to talk
Ama