WHAT THE FUCK ?!? I just woke up from a coma like today o.O i guess stabbing myself in the stomach wasn’t good enough. humans can be so pathetically resistant. my mom gave me my laptop back. i’m in hospital now (D’uuuuh) hate the smell … hate the white shits everywhere. hate myself for missing myself. i mean what kind of idiot except for me takes a goddamn samurai sword, plunge it into his stomach, litterally bleeds to death, and still lives? seriously is it some kind of bad joke from the creator? giving my mom the only gift she wanted? i refused to take the painkillers, the pain is making me feel so alive! i guess that people who cut themselves will understand what i mean. now about the incident.! once i took my swing i said to my self : dont stop! you will know a world of pain but still dont drop the sword ! i actually pierced my self, the sword got out from the other side. the pain was so intense, i wanted to die … the irony. just wanted to talk about it. please respond to me. i have fucking nothing to do except for sleeping and checking shit on the internet. i don’t really feel like watching fucking cats videos … know what i mean?
8 comments
Danyboy,
I feel sorry for you having stabbed your stomach like that. I do not know what happened in your life to make you did that, but the fact that you survive is proof enough that you still have a purpose in this life and your journey isn’t over yet.
All of us here will always listen and support you, good luck.
Hello again danyboy! Sorry to hear you failed, but glad to hear you’re alive! I’m surprised you got it to the other side. You’re supposed to move the katana back and forth in order to further open the wound. Why didn’t you do it somewhere you wouldn’t be found?
Merry Christmas
i remember reading your post earlier about your method. i’m sorry it didnt work out the way you expect :/… but maybe you werent meant to go. i guess your mom thinks it’s a christmas mirical. well merry christmas <3
Danyboy, I am here on Christmas Day to say I am glad you survived and hoped that this will get you the help you need and that the people around you now understand your despair. Yes, I lost my son to suicide, and this is our first Christmas without him. It’s brutal. He and I were very close, and we were basically a happy family. But my husband and I did not understand the depths of despair and hopelessness. I guess the one thing I can share with you and anyone else who might be reading this is that unless you have been in that dark place, you simply do not understand. You will see me on here again and again asking people to tell their loved ones, “I am in such pain I want to be dead.” If only I knew THAT, I would have acted differently. I was supportive, loving, all the right parent things. So now that I am on the other side of things, let me tell you how it is for the people you leave behind. We went from feeling incredibly fortunate to have the lives we had to feeling incredible pain. At times, I pray for some easy, painless death to take me in such a way that my other child would not feel I left him. But I can’t do that. I have to trudge on, marking days as time I DON’T now have to live. You leave this Earth, and you leave your loved ones to carry that pain indefinitely. But more importantly, you take away any chance you have at finding peace, contentment, and fulfillment. It sucks to hurt as you do. It’s just f#cking unfair. But hold on. There can be light, and you can reflect someday on this dark chapter and be glad you trudged on…sort of like I am in. Danyboy, I am in your court, and I am wishing you a speedy recovery. Please be good to yourself and ask for the help you need. Be selfish and demanding. If you don’t get what you need, then say so. Wishing you the very best and sending love your way.
oh yes, i hate cats. Dogs are much better. if you want a laugh today, check out Porter the driving dog from the SPCA in New Zealand. This dog actually drives a Mini.
Better luck next time.
That shit only works in feudal Japan. I honestly want you to feel better. Ironically, you do have guts. Next time, use your powers for good. 🙂
Holy shit! Talk about an epic attempt, I’m sorry to hear that you failed though. You mention painkillers: if hou want out, you can horde them and then OD. Maybe that’s a bad idea though since you’re already in a hospital and those assholes will “save” you again. If you do decide to go on I wish you good luck with your recovery, I can’t imagine the hell you’re going through.