Hello again. I know that i havent been on in about a week, And that week has been sluggish. I came home to my siblings calling me names and my mom and brother discussing how weird i am and whatnot. I havent cut since what? Tuesday and i have been really off. I have this project and one of the questions is “Your Top 10 regrets” and i dont know if i should go all out and be true, or keep it simple and lie, because my family and teacher will read it? I have a lot of regrets and some of them are secrets.
I regret everything i’ve done in the past year. Picking up my razor, getting into a fight with my bully, doing a lot of things to hurt my relationships with my friends, so on and so forth. I really dont like having all these thoughts about suicide and thinking where and when would be best. My friend {the one afore mentioned} told me that i could quit cutting again and that shes addicted, so she can’t stop. She gives the best advice and talks you through everything. I wish i could be there for her but shes so independent and goes her own way all the time.
Once she asked me. my boyfriend and one of my other friends how many times we’d cut that week and did that to herself. i thought she was crazy and she never said why. Then this past week she was gone. and she ended up overdosing on sleeping pills and going down the road. Her parents know and dont do anything about it because shes attempted so many times. She also said that being here was hell, in response to what i said, “I’d rather be in hell with you than here without you.” She got upset at that, but its the truth. i know where shes coming from because i felt like that too.
3 comments
I’m so sorry sweetie :/ im not sure if i read this right but you lost your friend to suicide? And i think you should lie on your project but do your own list at home. Of the true things you regret. It may help with the depression. I cut to and have severe depression. I was raped when i was younger. You can check out some of my other post if it intrest you.. althought it probally doesnt.
You should look on google sometime the Self harm 30 day challenge. And complete it. I did it and its helped a bit. I still self harm. But it helps me put if off for a longer period of time. even if its only 24 hours. Its means i may have done less cuts cause my emotions wernt so at the surface anymore.
Email me Brooklynboxx@gmail.com
no i havent lost her yet, but i think that she will try a lot more. Thats what i worry about all the time when she doesnt show up to school.
i know what you mean i have suicidal friends ( kinda ironic how we all tell the other ones not to cut, and not to commit suicide but were still doing it ourselfs ) Its hard sometimes but u just gotta talk and if u dont understand where their coming from put ur self in the closet situation u’ve been in. Or the worst thing thats happened to x10 you’ll never go wrong their. They’ll be happy cause someone understands them.