Too Broken
Too broken to be in this world again
A doll smashed into a million pieces of porcelain
They knew me before
They see glimpses today
They think I’m back
But I’m too broken
I’ve become one with death
Held his hand
Dreamt of his embrace
Blazing out all the pain
He let me close my eyes
To it forevermore
He let me Know it’s okay
I’m too broken now
I’ve felt death’s kiss
Tasted eternity on his lips
How can I come back now
To this world
When my broken heart wants rest?
Light shines in my window today
I can see it for the first time in weeks
Scabs curve over my open wounds
They threaten to heal my flesh
Music and voices and faces I see
And I can feel it all again
But I’m too broken to come out again
Too broken for this not to be
The beginning of the end
They’re letting me go
Because I’m talking again
Talking and laughing and living
There is color in my cheeks
And life in my eyes
And I’m not holding razors to my thighs
So they are releasing me out
Into the world again
Without knowing
Without realizing…
I’m too broken
Too broken to live this life
Of ups and downs unending
Of pain so real I have to scream through blood
With flesh wounds my only saving grace
I can’t open my mouth to let it out
But the blood spurts and splutters for me
I’m not whole enough to find a new way
Not strong enough to care
It’ll keep me alive until I find my end
And then there will be no more writing
And I’m too broken for that to happen again
There are no more pieces
I am dust
You have cracked me and chipped me and smashed me until
I’m too broken to come out of the rust
So don’t be fooled when I smile
When I appear to live my life
I am broken inside
And there’s no fixing
So don’t be surprised when
I’m suddenly gone
Because after this last time…
Well, seven was enough
I’m too broken to be pieced anymore
And it hurts my ragged edges when you try
So I’ll smile and pretend
I hope you enjoy these days
Because, My love, I’m broken, and they are few