venting out

I wish I could decide who I am going to be, because living like this makes no sense. Everything I do I criticize, I hate. it’s not like judging who I am with all the good and bad sides, it’s just pure hate for everything I am. But I haven’t decided I am a lost cause just yet. I am willing to give myself another shot, just that if I mess this up it is going to be the end of me for I am not strong enough to endure another complete failure.

or i wasn’t. my mind plays tricks on me