if not outragiously hard and agonizingly sadistic, life is utterly boring and you know it.

im not ginna lie i think about suicide.everysecond of the day. until recently ive never fantisized about killibg everyone i hate on earth.  no i dont hate anyone. in actuality i understand them.i always have. i just hate how no one understands me. i feel somewhat special how i am certain i am the only one who feels this particlular way in life. although i wish my kind easnt so godamn rare ! i hobeslty dont feel there is anything wrong with me. just the entire world is(im convinced) in a conspiracy against.me. i literally suck at almost everything if god is real he is a sadist and i wosh to spit on his grave once i have murdered him. i feel i am changing into a violent person. i donnt.feel guilt fromthis i feel power and  like.ived been aknowledgednof the burdons (understatemebt) that i have mysteriously lived throughaby way im slightly drunk right now so i most liekly dont know what i am doing in the mronging.i just want you to know anyonw whos reading this you are absolutley not alone u cant imagine how.many people are or have been in your exact ‘pridicamebt’ blah balah fuck u cheryl fuck u i dont care how much pain ur in fuck u fuck u i never wanna be called what u said to.me ever ever again fuck u . bleh infinity fuck me goddddd rape me gossdddd fuck otttttttr i want death roght now