And as my pain settled over feeling lost, I started talking to my friend again. And I guess I got a bit pissed. I made her believe she hurt me š It hurt her and now she hates me xs
Why canāt I just deal with people the way I should ? Why do I always have to push away the people I care about. Iām a horrible person. Iām a horrible drunk, stoned, carving motherfuck. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself!!! I deserve to die š and if it werenāt for other people I canāt betray like that, I would š
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Omg itās like reading my thoughts !
Iām the same.
I didnāt go to school again today and my friend texted me because she was worried, I ignored it all day, then just text back. ā Iām fine, donāt text againā
Iām such a ***** !! -_-
You donāt. Deserve to die hun <3
If you wanna talk I'm here.
fucking shit, I do :/ Iām just going to torture myself in some way.. already burnt my entire arm with a blunt knife.
Oh hun š
I burned my leg. Heated up a metal rod and pressed it against my thigh, a few weeks agoā¦. It hurtā¦. A lotā¦ Donāt do it.
Donāt torture yourselfā¦. Vent to me I stead !
I have this electric fire on my roomā¦ I still feel like absolute shit. She hates me now even more and she didnāt like me in the first place. I am a failure. I canāt do anything right. I fuck up everything I try. Fuck me š
Things with friends can be fixed easily, only if you want to.
You should just be honest,tell her your going through a hard time. Iām sure shed understand. You can still fix things.
Itās better to have no regrets
I have, she knows everything. She used to be my best friend that would get me through shit. Now all she does is make me feel horrible š And sheās angry because I told what I was going through. She was hurt by the fact I think she hurts me š I hate myself, Iām stupid like that. I keep believing I can feel better talking to her while I just fuck up one of the only friendships I had. Fuck Fuck fuck
Iām usually not this angry about it, but I just thought I figured out how to be fucking happy xs I hate myself I hate myself for taking that away from me
Hun, if sheās hurt you, you shouldnāt feel like this. She should.
Iām such a weak person. I try not to care about other people, but I care about what she thinks of me. itās one of the last people I care about. She thinks we shoudnāt talk anymore because I hurt her. That hurts me more than will ever know xs
How old are you btw ?
And if you maybe just try to stop and think everything through before you say things to her ?
I know I have to with my family. Because I canāt leave yet, I have to try to control myself
16, yeye, Iām young Itās all going to get better blahblahblah..
I usually do but the conversation either not goes as planned or I get drifted away in feeling good. This time she even started talking to me so I was caught of guard xs
Iām not going to say that. Iām 16 too. And I donāt see how things can get better just being an older age. They only way things could get better is if You seek help.
And you canāt plan a convosation. Things will go differently because of the other person.
Just apologise to her. And then show her that you mean your sorry. By trying to control yourself better when you talk to her
Yeah, Iāll do it tomorrow. I already appologised today. She ignored it. I try to control myself when talking to her. I do that with everybody I talk with. Iām afraid of people hating me. It makes me hate myself.
Okk. I hope it goes well for you !
And I donāt hate you. !! <3
thanks <3 I'm over my initial rage I think. Thanks for not hating me. Hope it goes well for you to <3 I'll get the urge to selfharm again later though. I get it in waves. wave of hurt, wave of guilt, wave of hurt , wave of guilt. Guess I won't sleep very much tonight.. I'm a whiny ***** :/
No your not ! You just need some one to vent to when you feel like cutting.
And you have my email, so send me a message at some point, yeaah ?
I guess I could pick your email of of your posts but I donāt think you personally gave it to me . Thanks s <3
Ohh sorry, I thought I did !
Sophieprincess2419@yahoo.com
send you a little test mail ^^ thanks s ^^
Iām so sorry.