You guys would be happy to know that after a joking and laughing talk with my family about suicide, they found out today what I eventually want to do! Well, now a certain person won’t allow me anywhere near his guns, even if it means not letting me stay at his house for any length of time till I’m over wanting to die over this current situation, and my horrible grandparents. And nobody will get me a rope or help me make a make-shift gallows. Most other methods are hard so I’m not interested at this stage. A plastic bag would be easy enough if I just grin and bare it to the very end, but since my family are stepping in and reversing the damage my grandparents are trying to do to me emotionally, I don’t want to use this method at this stagge either. And since the doctors have explained a few things to me, life is a bit better too. The’ve also showed me that they can even protect me from my own family if they need to! So I’m not happy but a bit more relieved that I don’t have to carkk it yet. I might just wait till I’m an old lady and kill myself while I’m still healthy instead of waiting to die when I’m really messed up and sick, too frail to look after myself.
2 comments
MichelleJ,
well i guess you not leaving us! yippie! stick around it gets better!
It should get better, I so don’t want to let a few family members down! They know my emotional pain so they’re helping me in an inconspicius way, that won’t cause my grandparents to hurt me more. They will do, but not because of my family helping me, since the family knows how to stop that by way of advising how I should react to my grandparents and such. So things are getting better. I’m starting to learn that I don’t have to be there at their beck and call. I can live my life, it doesn’t revolve around my grandparents, and I don’t have to let their emotional pain predict what I am going to do! They can’t punish me the same way they could when I was a kid, even though they think they are able to. Emotional pain is no punishment method for anyone thoough, but I’ve got a plan in place for when I will kick my grandparents out of my life for good so I won’t even have to worry about trying to deal with their shit. I wanted to kill myself in front of them, but my family has convinced me that they won’t change because of punishing them like that. I just need to tell them to knick off and let them be who they want to be, I can be who I want to be.
Thanks for your support! And I’m thankful that I hve a supportive family who knows how to keep me sane.
MichelleJ