Time

Crying and “breaking down” isn’t weak. A lot of people don’t realize that. Especially in America, we still hold on to those puritanical ideals of the stoic character pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. It’s bullshit. We’re human. We hurt, we cry, we die.

It’s just a part of developing into a full person. You sound lonely and in pain. I would suggest getting a penpal or joining meetup groups. You can find these things with some google searches. Finding other people with similar interests will take effort, but it might be worth it.

I hope you make some more friends to make life a little sweeter for you.