I just don’t care anymore. I thought I didn’t care before, but I don’t inside at all now, i didnt realise I could get worse. I don’t care for much because I can’t, it isn’t in me. I just stare blankly all day.
There’s plenty of times where I know I should feel sad, but I just don’t. There are many tears that never escape my eyes. Any thoughts I have leave my head and make it as barren as it was before I felt anything. I’ve lost all of my emotion trying to cope, my essence is fading away to my depression, my humanity is being consumed slowly. Painfully slowly…
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These last weeks and specially days, i’ve been wanting to die and suffering more than usual, but now that i realize i’m all alone and on my own, i’m not hurting anymore.
I got too used to feeling nothing and living in my little world, i don’t cry, don’t smile, don’t scream, don’t stress… nothing.
My humanitybis almost gone. All that’s left is loneliness, my only friend, she never leaves me alone. 🙂
Vacated and PureBL,
I understand the blank, numb despair. I sat in a chair for a week, not moving, not leaving the house, not feeling. I found a little steam today. If you can try to do just one thing–the dishes, taking a shower, reading the paper–anything that’s movement–please try just a little bit.
VacatedHappiness,
it’s your old buddy! hey ama says hi! sorry your not real happy at the moment niether am i haha! i want to die still!! haha oh well hang in there!!! 🙂
JUST HIT THAT SAME POINT IN MY LIFE I JUST RELATE KNUMB BUT NOT IN COMFORT
@PureBlueLight Being alone hurts me more. It hurts me a lot actually. Yeah, having nobody helps in some ways, but I think I’ve felt it too for my liking.
@catchthebus There’s things I have to do in the day anyway. I have commitments. I suppose they could keep me functioning. But nothing makes it go away, and it always comes back worse every time.
@rocketman Hanging on is overrated. I haven’t tried letting go, but it seems the better alternative.
@virgil69 I think it can definitely be a thing to remember in your life, and not as a good thing…