I meant to do it. i stood for ages staring at the distant floor and the cars whizzing about mindlessly. I even had both legs over and was perched on the side.
But some part of me still wants to live. And I don’t know why. I don’t know what part of my brain told me to step away and give it a week. But I did, and I am waiting.
I feel so weak. I couldn’ t just let myself go…
5 comments
hi 🙂
i know exactly how you feel. and trust me, you can get through it. there are good days and there are bad days. and sometimes it feels like the good days aren’t worth having to suffer through the bad days, but they are. there is so much more in your life you have to look forward to. you can make it through, love, i know you can 🙂
You shouldn’t call yourself “weak”. It was pretty strong to want to die and have an opportunity to do it and to actually stop. To me that took a lot of courage to think things through and to make sure it was truly the only way to “solve” your problems.
Eh, you’re not weak DeathofMe. Jumping to your death is a really tough method to pursue. Even ants fight tooth and nail to survive and wouldn’t be able to tell you why. The survival instinct is ingrained in your being. Most people don’t have it in them to die that way, so don’t feel bad about it.
I hope things get better for you.
By the way, in the future, try not to jump from something that could harm someone else. Your life is yours and you have a right to do with it what you will, but landing on someone’s car could kill them as well, and you don’t have a right to do that. Try to pick some place that won’t cause others harm. Take care.
you had the courage to live, which is greatly courageous. People either have the courage to live or die. I’m glad you have hope, if you want we can talk and help eachother, morenomari1@yahoo.com