Maybe this is it

Pills, blades and an 8th floor window. After a few decades of life, a few hundred thousand hours of work, learning, hoping, dreaming, fighting for what (I thought) is right, saving for the future, loved ones, loves lost, and everything else that makes up a life, it turns out that all I ever needed are these three things. First the pills to numb the pain, then the knives to do the deed, and last the window for dramatic effect.

I can’t believe I wasted so much effort on this meaningless world. The only worthy thing I did was to take care of her. But she died. Why have I bothered

I salute you, the people who have the bravery to question their existence, to take control of their destiny one way or the other. I have my answer, good luck finding yours.