Merrrr

For those of you who know me, I’ve been gone for a while. A few months or something…

Well, there have been improvements and destruction! i haven’t really felt depressed or sad in a long ass time. I’ve no idea how long. I think this is dissociation. Or something like that… I’ll explain a little more. Um… Whenever I think about Niel, the man who literally turned my life around and gave me hope in everything I gave up on, I immediately think about something else. It’s like my brain won’t let me think about him anymore. Mostly because… whenever I remembered him, even if it’s about fun things, I would get sad and I’d cry. Now I don’t think about him… I think about something else. I haven’t cried or been truly sad in a long time. I just keep smiling… which is odd… even if I’m angry or somewhat sad. Well… I’m not sure what is going on anymore…

As for Belle, I’ve seen her posts on here, she’s being taken care of. I’ve managed to restrain her and I’m talking to her a bit… she’s… she’s calmed a bit.

And for relationships, yes I had been going through fetishes and random partners, but as of right now, I’ve found someone I can be with for a little while. I don’t know if it’ll be half a year, two months, a year, or whatever, all I know is that for at least the rest of this semester in college, I’ll have him to count on. He really cares about me… which is something I missed… Belle has hardly said anything about him other than ‘He’s just going to leave eventually.’ I’m ok with that, because I’m still young, a freshman in college, so this one guy has a slim chance of being ‘the one’ or whatever. I just hope it’s not too painful or else I might just give up altogether.