so…I have no idea if I can go on living anymore…I’ve been lied to and back stabbed so much, yet I’m still only 14. it’s ridiculous. I’ve only told my cousin and my friend and school that I want to die, my situation, etc. I hate my life, and my adoptive parents don’t respect me. hell, if I told them I want to die, they probably wouldn’t take me seriously. Â they don’t respect my decisions. for example, they both hate my real dad, who I found myself on facebook last month. I told them how much I wanted to see him, get to chill with him and whatnot, and they said not until my adoption papers are finalized, which costs them plenty of money..my friends and my sister and my cousin want me to stay alive and they don’t want me to die, but what will I offer? I’m just a waste of space, and they get no benefit from me still being here. I just can’t appreciate my existence any longer. my first friend I ever had died friday and I wasn’t told till yesterday. I cried half the day, I never got to say good bye. I don’t understand why people want me here, because when I die, they’ll probably get over it in a day. if they did care, they would let me know in a better way. more specifically. now if only I had the guts to end my life already.
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My last attempt was in November, a girl that I barely know. I mean, I’ve talked to her twice, hugged me the next time she saw me and started crying. I don’t know all of you situation, but I promise you that someone will care, and they won’t forget.
I’m being hypocritical, of course, because I’m still planning out my next attempt, but I can honestly say that if anything happened to either of my sisters (one is adopted, one isn’t) I would murder whoever hurt them. If they did it to themselves, I couldn’t forget it as long as I lived. I’m not trying to guilt you into anything, and I know it’s hard to believe (I still believe the above-mentioned girl was lying or faking the tears because I can’t believe that anyone cares, so I really do know how hard it is) but someone does. Don’t ever doubt it, Hell, I don’t even know you and I care, but people do care, I promise you that.
Dear detroitredwingsfan,
From you post, you have a lot of confusing issues culminating to your death wish. Is there counseling available at your school, someone outside of your family you could talk to who might help you sort matters out.
First, there is the matter of your dad. Perhaps your adoptive parents have good reason to want you to stay away. They must care on some level or they wouldn’t be trying to adopt you.
Then, it seems you have confusion in life before now. You are so young, with all those teen hormones making life even more confusing.
Hang in there. You love your sister and cousin, and they care about you, don’t think you’re a waste of space. And you aren’t. Give yourself a chance. Take a deep breath and keep trying to put life in perspective.
I wish you well.
Vedura
Please don’t give up just yet. You’re only 14. I have students just about your age. Have you tried sitting down and talking to your adoptive parents rationally and logically? I’m sure they mean well, but they need to listen to what you’re saying. You’re not a waste of space. You’re a valuable human being and you deserve to be loved.