i DONT know how to write this, my life is shit, im moving soon and leaving everything, the love of my life is blocking me out becasue he is scared he will hurt me, im emotionally scared and wan to leave, everyone is happy but me, im in a forced relationship but i dont wanna hurt him, IMA ***** i hate myself. everyone hates me, i hate me i wanna die becasue if i tell anyone they will think im stupid, i tell my bestie everything but im moving and i will never see her! I need to say good bye now, so bye mum, tell dad he is my hero and i love him, tell met that he is the best brother an angel could have given me, tell summer that she is amazing and she desereves better then me, tell all the family i love them, and to you i love you <3 When you read this dont think itsyour fault,im upset and sad and depressed, i cant live like this, seeing everyone so happy, i need to be where i belong, to be happy, since all the good things in my life are slowly leaving me, dont do anything to hurt yourselfs i love you all so much, i miss him , my love Anthony, i need him, but he scared to hurt me, i NEED HIM NOW i cant go on, you wont undertsnad you dont need to just understand that ilove you <3 please dont blame your selfs, i cant go on, call me selfish if you want, i dont care im doing what i need at the moment, im such an idiout, so dumb, never good enough for anyone, im always a second choice, second guessing, im stupid, stupid and i hate it! SCrewing my self up over him, but he was my other half, i need to go now i dont want to wake you up muma typing <3 LOVEYOU
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4 comments
Please don’t hurt yourself Chelsey. 🙁
I cant help it, dont you hurt yourself either buddy x
You can tell me to fuck off if you want. Alternatively, you could look at it from this perspective, once all the “good” stuff leaves – you have space. It could be used as space to get down with your bad self. It could be space where someone else could sit down and share some time with you. Or – it could be space filled by a different group of friends, a special lover or support in areas you didn’t know.
Sometimes, space is a gift. It feels unwelcome. It feels lonely and cold. But in time, when you find your footing, you may realize that you just got rid of the (proverbially speaking) ugly furniture to make room for the pretty stuff.
Again – tell me to eat a bag of dicks, whatever. I’m not trying to patronize you. I’m simply trying to offer a perspective of what’s on the other side of horribly painful loss.
I feel bad for you I hope you don’t have to die to get away from this. In any case I hope you find your peace however you can find it. That’s what life is about anyway, doing what makes you happy, in liiife or in death.