When is it enough?

My life has pretty much sucked.

Troubled mother, no father, poverty, molested as a child, tormented in school, depression, anxiety, too much pressure to do well in life from family, friends and myself, auto immune disease, can’t seem to find decent friends etc. etc.

Often since I was a teenager have I wanted to end this, to put an end to this constant stream of suffering that just keeps piling on but obviously I’m still here so I haven’t done it yet. Most often I find myself living because of the people around me, not particularly because I want to or enjoy it but because it is expected of me and it would do a number on my family if I offed myself.

But I wish I could just get to choose to die and stop this because this is too hard. I just get fed up with this constant battling, who wants to live life battling against gale force winds? At least I’m not enjoying it all that much…

I’m about to give up on this life for the umpteenth time…