Mentally…
I’ve never been worse.
I want to die so bad.
I can barely think.
I don’t think I have any connections left.
I don’t feel like typing anymore.
No one cares anyways.
Physically…
I’m exhausted.
I left bed twice today.
I collapsed on the bathroom floor and fell asleep (20ft/6m from my room at most) because I didn’t have enough energy to get back to bed.
I can’t support weight with my left foot, so I’m using crutches.
I haven’t eaten all day. My stomach feels like shit.
My temperature was 102F/38.9C.
My head hurts so bad.
I’m dehydrated.
So… Why not?
I’ll microwave some chlorhexidine gluconate and then dissolve about 30 tablets of efferdent into it and drink.
16 comments
die well my friend
no man should live with the pain you have
Thank you. The problem is I don’t think I even have enough energy to get up and end the pain.
Dont encourage people to die
sorry i was talking to the first comment that said ”Die well my friend”
What reason do I have to live? He has nothing to say to convince me not to die, so he wished me a peaceful death if that’s what I choose.
Boy’s 14 – not yet a man.
At your age, I don’t think a peaceful/painless death is possible.. o.o
My age shouldn’t matter. I have access to just as much stuff as everyone else as long as my suicide is successful. Ex. It wouldn’t matter if I stole a gun as long as I killed myself fast enough. That’s how I see it anyways.
I care, I hope you don’t choose to die yet. Not this soon. You’re only fourteen what do mean you have nothing to live for? I know it feels like that now, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t give up. Please don’t give up. I’m sorry you have to go through what you’re dealing with. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me if you want. I’m great at listening.
It does matter. Most youth are inexperienced — Do your research or you’ll botch your future attempt(s).
I appreciate the offer, but having someone listen is just burdening them. It helps me for a little while, but so does cutting. I also have trouble trusting enough to tell anyone anymore. I wish I could live my life, but no one seems to want to let me. I don’t think I can go through this for another 4 years.
Jeez~ I hope I didn’t sound mean or whatever. Never meant it that way.
It’s fine. I didn’t take it offensively, or mean to respond in that way. I just meant to explain my view.
It sucks today, but tomorrow when you go back to school you have a plan, remember?
Things will get better for you!
Just have to find a little bit of joy in small things.
It will get better. Baby steps.
And I care, you know that!
You’re right. I need to at least try the plan. I’m still sick, I don’t think I’ll be going to school until tommorow. I am better after sleeping. Thank you for caring, I wasn’t thinking very logically last night.
It’s okey not to think logically every once in a while, it happens.
Now focus in resting, that’s all you can do.
So rest, and when you get back to school it will be better!
At least you have a chance to try 🙂