I’ve been feeling vervy down uncool and worthless i feel like a piece of shit. Have you just ever felt so guilty the thing is I have so much drama in my life it makes me sick i mean and its not like i want drama idk whats wrong with me or why iam such a fucked up person my ex was right when id be all alone and i wouldent be able to love anyone else i am having such a hard time not talking to my ex and i want to give him space but its really hard Dose love just make things complicated or dose it tear us apart like the ian curtis song by joy division. I know if i’am stupid enough to kill myself that people will go on. What dose it really slove mabe it sloves this isloating pain i feel i feel so alone so dumbly lethargic its like evrything i know whats going to happen happens its fucked up like its like i know the future I’ll think something about a person and it fucking happens its fucking crazy mabe i’am just the crazy one this depression dosent go away and being alone sometimes feels good but i feel so alone if that makes sense.i feel like theres somthing defintley wrong with me. I’am kinda of scared to die because iam scared of what will happen I also think i have asburgers or something because or autistic because i dont like being touched and i dont have any friends idk i just dont like being to cuddley that much i mean i dont liek hugs from people unless ive know them for like a year or longer i hate when peopl are affectinatte at frist when i dont even know them mabe iam asexual idk iam not attarcted to girls sometimes i feel so ungirly idk i feel like a guy sometimes i hope i can get through life happily or else iam fucked i hate me life i hate myself i hate my mom i hate my sister i hate evryone in my family i hate myself even more but i really miss my ex mabe cause its comforting but mainly cause he was there for me and now hes no there for me it would be really nice to just give up iam contemplating………………….I think i will do it not today but within the next couple of months or sooner goodbye