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I’m sick of looking at myself in the mirror. I’m sick of my boyfriend looking at pictures of these perfect girls on his computer while I sit right next to him and soak in my self hatred. I wish I could be better I wish I didn’t have to make excuses for myself, I wish I had the strength to change. but instead I die inside everyday, as I pick myself apart bit by bit… I don’t even worry about the scars anymore, what’s the point. one of these days I’ll build up enough courage to pushthe razor a little deeper, then I’ll never have to worry about hiding them or long sleeves..just forever loneliness..
4 comments
It seems he isn’t for you. You deserve someone who cares more about your inner beauty than your appearance. Don’t cut.
He DEFINITELY isn’t for you. Thanks for your honest sharing of thoughts and feelings.
Your scars are your own. Your unwillingness to change is your own. Your self-worth is also something you own. A boyfriend (do not know whole story tralalaalal) should not be comparing you so blatantly. If that is what he is doing than away ye get. You regardless of your hatred are worth more than that.
I find peace in the pain of it. I couldn’t imagine leaving him, I’m too broken to start over. I thrive on the hope I can make him love me, and when I don’t I survive (ironically) on the pathetic insides I poor out when I break my skin. I find beauty in the darkness, because I just can’t find it anywhere else.. .