Lost

I came across this site today, thanks to Google. I really could use a friend, someone to listen. I have been through so much bad luck. I can’t help it, it’s who I am. I have been betrayed by the last 2 people I cared about. Used, lied to, and so much more. I think about dying every day. I don’t want to, I want to be happy. But the alternative is to feel this pain. I feel hopeless and useless. I am 30, I haven’t always felt like this.  I once read that people like me can’t ever recover from this type of betrayal. Maybe it is true. I am humble, faithful to a fault, and I am the kind of person that looks for a partner to be like my best friend, muse, mother and father, my everything. It is a lot to expect of someone. To see it in a book, to read what I already knew, seems to be depressing. Sorry I know that is vague, I don’t want to write my life story here. I could really just use a friend, I am not very comfortable talking to males about this type of thing. I feel hopeless, useless, and pointless. I have no one. Hmm, what else to say? Please, the last thing I want to hear is something about fish in the sea.