well I’ve been cutting and dealing with depression for some months now. Ive dealt with anorexia before and then i started to recover. As of recently I’ve started to starve myself again. Also my cutting as gotten worse too. My cuts go from my wrist up to my fore-arm. There not very deep but they still bleed pretty bad…after i cut myself i will put bleach on them so i can put myself threw more pain. I deserve all this pain. Im not so sure what i have done but i feel like i deserve it.
Because of my depression i have insomnia. I usually get 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night if I’m Lucky.
i see a therapist every week and i go to the doctor for monthly weigh-ins. My dad use to abuse me and throw knifes at me. Once my mum saw my cuts she slapped my arm VERY hard. she hits me sometimes when I’ve done nothing. When my friends ask about how I’m doing at home i just smile and say everything is fine. Some of them have seen the brusies and cuts but i tell them its nothing and try not to talk about it.
I’ve tried to kill myself twice. The first time i jumped out of my window but i just broke my arm. It wasn’t high enough to kill me. The second time i drank bleach. That did nothing but make me throw up everywhere and i had to go to the hospital.
One time my heart stopped because i hadn’t eaten in a week… I almost died then. Im still dealing with slipping back into anorexia. I usually go a few days with out eating but then ill eat an apple or something. Im still losing a lot of weight.
Today i was sent to the hospital because i overdosed. They almost kept me there in the psychiatric ward but my mum convinced them that i would be ok at home.
My parents are getting divorced and i don’t talk to my dad anymore, i barley talk to my mum. They have my sister on suicide watch when ever they leave so i won’t cut or try to kill myself again.
im Hailee, I’m 15, 94 pounds, and that was my story.
2 comments
My condition is worse
okay…i didn’t realize this was to see who’s life has the most shit but okay I’m sorry to hear that.