hi I’m in my late  thirties and I’ve had enough I’ve been thinking of ending things all week , I mean I’ve gone through stages in the past, but I’ve been really thinking about how I’m going to finish things as in what’s the plan, I ve even written notes as well. I’m over everything I’m always under pressure all the time , I’m always pretending I’m ok and not telling people what’s really going on. I ve been struggling with addiction to pain killers , drinking too much and smoking. I’m just sick of struggling and I really do think its the best option I mean I think things get harder not easier. No one knows how I feel and they all want me to be happy so that’s what I portray . I work with homeless people and I help people sort their lives out but I cant sort my own life out. I just feel like I can’t stand living any more, I want to give up now …
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6 comments
why u are addicted and why u drinking too much
this addiction is just a temperory solution and u know that but what is there that u want to forget what is there in your past u cant live with?
it is terribly sad that you are so hurt inside. I have no magical wisdom to offer, I am sure you are old enough to understand that life has peaks and valleys. And ultimately, I suppose – life is what you make out of it….
You say you work with the homeless. I have volunteered a bit in that area as well and I always found it very heart warming to help others like this. I am guessing you get that same sensation. Perhaps you should volunteer a bit more. I think it helps to see others in a worse situation to allow you to more fully appreciate your life.
*hugs to you*
Hi hope thanks for your reply I work with homeless people have done for six years or more so its my profession , it does help for sure it’s quite a spiritual job in that sense. I feel a bit better less like ending things a bit less self pitying I mean I don’t put ending things out of my reach but for now I’m safe
Zaccy thanks for reply I m an addict we use when we feel any thing unfortunately cause I’ve definitely had trauma so that’s in the past. I know for me my suicidal thoughts are related to my use of substances they mess the mind up !!
Thanks for sharing part of your story.
And welcome aboard, apple21.
Who:
Twenty-Seven year old female who currently resides on the East Coast of the USA.
What:
Looking for A CTP Partner or suicide partner as it is most commonly known
Where:
I would prefer if you didn’t live in my area that you travel to me. If you prefer me to come to you it will be considered but I have limited means to travel so unless you could help get me to you it may or may not be a option. I am willing to be a CTP partner with someone, so lets work out the logistics.
When:
I am ready when you are. I am ready right now just haven’t found a partner yet. I am willing to at the drop of a hat do this. No hesitation. We will have to figure out the logistics and the method we will use but that is minor stuff. The most important thing is am willing and ready.
Why:
Everyone has their reasons when it comes to how and why they found themselves at this point. I am not going to tell you my life story, or even give you a break down, summarize the reasons “why†I want to kill commit suicide. The reasons are irrelevant and unimportant a at this point.
If interested you may contact me at: bohemian.luna@gmail.com