I began cutting in the 7th grade I was only 12. I don’t know why I did it. I just barley cut myself. I started everyday after that. I hide it no one ever saw my arms until the end of my 8th grade year. My mom found my journal and read it. She told me that I would be starting counseling. I started counseling. My mom checked my wrist every night and I would cut up my legs every night. The cuts got deeper and deeper I just need more and more. The blade pressed against my skin opening my skin and seeing blood flow out that was such a release. I sometimes laugh cause I felt so much better. It sounds crazy. Because it is crazy. I messed up my arms so bad that it’s just to gross to even look at and they will never go away. I need help I need a way to stop. Without it I feel like I can’t live. I’m scared of what I’m doing to myself. The only one who knows is my parents and my boyfriend. It hurts them when I do this to myself. I have to stop now.
19 comments
@Sam I’m sorry you’re going through so much pain… and that you cut… I wouldn’t know to much about that since I’ve cut only once but… Haven’t you tryed to find some other way to release the pain? Just saying…
If only it was that easy. Hurting myself is the only thing that’s ever worked.
@Sam I haven’t read your other posts but… don’t you have a boyfriend… or someone that you could trust? That could help… if you talked to him… I don’t know… Ha! I myself am just trying to suck it up, the pain, I guess… even though I sometimes have the urge to hurt myself too…
Anyways, Sam… I wanna ask you something… We can all see the suffering all around us… especially on this site… You know it very well yourself what pain mean… Do you think that all of this is God’s fault? You think he’s responsible for our suffering?
god gave us freedom to make are own decisions in life we get to make life are own and I really can’t blame him he does not answer my prayers but I don’t really deserve to live. Just think about it like this most of us on this site want to die and well some us pray to be better and finally have peace of mind but there are people out there with cancer who might die and they pray to live to overcome there cancer.
Who’s prayers would you answer if you were god? I guess life is hard and we all have to suffer in some kinda way what this site should be about is how to cope and make things better for are self’s not relying on god to come and save us.
@Notalrightatall I’m sorry you feel this way… But you deserve to live too, Sam… and to be happy…
Hmmm… You say we shouldn’t rely on God to come and save us… But… don’t you rely on God when you ask him to help you now? Yes, many people feel that he doesn’t answer to their prayers. But think about this… We want God to help us whenever we ask him to. Shouldn’t we at least see what he asks of us? How can we even expect God to listen to us when we don’t even bother to find out what he wants from us? What do you think, Sam?
I often find myself wondering what he put me on this earth for. I took a couple of wrong turns in my life. I guess no one really knows what he wants. I guess he would want me to really believe in him. Not ask if he’s there or not. I don’t feel him. I’m a bit selfish. I’m always wanting from him to make things better or to show me how. I try.
You’re very wise. Oh and I forgot how do you know my name?
@Notalrightatall “Iรขโฌโขm sam and the website says it all.” That’s how I know it! ๐ You wrote it in the biography, Sam… I’m Samuel, by the way…
Hmmm… Did you know that the Bible reveals what God wants from us? In John 17:3 it says: “This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ.” So… you see what Jehovah God wants from us in order to benefit from his help… and from blessings like eternal life? He wants us to take in knowledge of him, meaning to learn about him, about his personality, about his will. Where from? From his Word, the Bible. Doesn’t sound that hard, does it? So… do you want to talk more through email… or even here on the site? Do you want to find out some more about God and how we can draw close to him?
Oh I feel stupid now. I have not gone to church or read the bible since I tried meth. I should go to church. It does not sound that hard. I should pick up the bible more often and read it. Sure we can email. And yes I do.
@Notalrightatall I’m glad you wanna find out more about God, Sam! I guess you already know how to find my email adress with the comments… if you don’t, just ask… ๐ You can send me a message so I can see your adress too… And… to answer your question… I’m alright… trying to hold on and be positive about the future… I’m a bit in a hurry… I have to go to a meeting… I’ll be back in a couple of hours… Anyways… take care, Sam! ๐
Shit…this thread is just going to encourage just.me.20 to keep coming back to this site. Notalrightatall, if you enjoy serving deities that promote the murder of homosexuals and slavery, then Jehovah is the right one for you. Oh, did I mention that God promotes CHILD slavery as well?
Go read Exodus 21 verses 7-21 and Leviticus 25 verses 44-46. In fact, go read the entire book of Leviticus. If you’re not an atheist by the time you’re finished with that, I have some ocean front property in Idaho I’d like to sell you.
I believe in god not the bible.
My apologies Notalrightatall, I wasn’t irritated at you, I was irritated at just.me.20. You have every right to talk about your suffering – that’s the function of this site. It was insensitive of me to just blaze past your post, all I saw was just.me.20’s comments on the comment page.
Coming onto this site to “preach the gospel” is strictly against site rules and something just.me.20 has been doing for at least a week. He approaches every user in the same way: “did you know God can save you? ๐ Did you know he promises to make the world new again? What do you think about that?” *VOMIT*
In terms of what you’re going through, it’s important to identify why you feel like cutting. You said that you started in 7th grade but don’t know why. Only you can determine why you cut.
What kinds of things are going through your head right before you cut? Are you ashamed? If so, what are you ashamed about? Are you angry? If so, what are you angry about? Next time you think about cutting, try to stop and think WHY you’re about to cut. I think you should be taken to a psychiatrist as well as you may have a biochemical disorder. Trying to ignore a disorder doesn’t make it go away.
Cutting is only a symptom of your problem, not the problem itself. Cutting IS a problem, but it’s a reaction to your feelings about something else. You won’t feel the need to cut anymore if you find the root cause and fix it. I can’t tell you what that root cause is – only you can. One thing I’m sure about is that you need support. Trying to hide anything from your parents will just hurt you in the long run.
I think we should have the right kick anyone who uses this site to preach. It’s all bullshit. Just because their brainwashed, doesn’t mean they have to spew their shit here.
@Notalrightatall Hmmm… I want to show you some things about the Bible, Sam… To see what you think about them… I’ll try to email you soon, dear…
@Letmesleep Hi! How are ya? First of all, if you don’t have any respect for God then, please, abstain from commenting about me talking to others about him. And to answer to your… slavery “issue”. Just because God allowed it then, it doesn’t mean that’s what he wants for us… for some to be other’s slaves… He allowed it then because the Israelites were a stubborn nation… Just as he allowed polygamy… untill Jesus restored God’s original standard of monogamy… So… God ALLOWED IT THEN, but it isn’t his wish nor does he even promote slavery! As for homosexuality… Jehovah doesn’t approve it but he doesn’t hate gay people… He doesn’t promote murder against anyone! So… stop lying! Oh and… Letmesleep? I’m gonna keep coming back to the site and I’m gonna keep telling people the truth about Jehovah God… regardless if they want to hear it or not!
@ just.me.20
That’s all well and good and it’s great that you’ve found god. Unfortunately, the site rules prohibit us from preaching the gospel.
I really want to know why it’s so wrong to talk about what you have faith in. I see why you guys do not believe in god and I respect that. I use to not too. Why can’t you just ignore it. I guess if it’s banned on this site I will not talk about a higher power anymore.
I don’t have a problem with anything these days. I’m just chilled out. It hardly matters to me anymore.
There are over 7000 pages of comments on this site. What there is left to say about anything in the universe, I don’t know.
@Notalrightatall: I couldn’t care less if you or anyone else mentions God if it gives you hope. There’s a difference in saying “I still believe God is going to help me”, “God gives me value”, or whatever you want as long as it’s personal to you. Coming online for no other reason but to preach and convert others is EXPLICITLY forbidden by the site rules because it pisses a lot of people off. Most of us want real answers for our lives and have already tried the faith route.
Again, your faith is your own and I don’t have a problem with it. What I have a problem with is just.me.20 using God as a blanket solution to any problem. Life isn’t that simple and it’s morally wrong for him to minimize people’s suffering in such a way.
@just.me.20 the Bible’s explanation of God is inconsistent. First of all, one of Christianity’s core beliefs is that God is perfect and unchanging. “God allowed it then but doesn’t want us to do it now” is a HUGE contradiction in terms of his supposed character. God didn’t just passively allow slavery or murder, he approved and commanded it. The things in the verses I mentioned are not just wrong, they are EVIL.
Here’s some more great stuff from some of the Bible’s most morally abhorrent books:
“If a man lies with a male as with a women, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives.” (Leviticus 20:13 NAB)
Whoever strikes his father or mother shall be put to death. (Exodus 21:15 NAB)
If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10 NLT)
A priest’s daughter who loses her honor by committing fornication and thereby dishonors her father also, shall be burned to death. (Leviticus 21:9 NAB)
The list literally goes on and on. The Bible is incredibly fucked up and you have no choice but to acknowledge the evil things said inside it. God’s laws didn’t represent justice, they represented tyranny. It should be noted that I don’t believe in any of this stuff because I’m intellectually honest enough to admit a “holy, perfect book” won’t have any flaws in it. The Bible was written by humans for humans, and it contains all the imperfections inherent to our species.
With that out of the way, here’s my real grievance with you: You don’t really care about anyone here. You say the exact same things to every person like a robot, as if you’re compelled not by concern for people but by an overriding command to spread Christian doctrine.
Notice how you said “I’m gonna keep telling people the truth about Jehovah God…regardless if they want to hear it or not!”? You didn’t say, “I care about people and I want them to get better”, you ONLY care about your self serving agenda to recruit people to your religion. You’re a fanatic and the very worst kind of Christian. My family are Christians too and they would NEVER do what you’re doing here. You’re a disgrace to the religion and a terrible person.
Your comments are impersonal, insensitive, and completely self serving. The fact that anyone even responds to you at all only shows people don’t really read other threads because you use the same exact speech no matter what a poster is going through. You sicken me with your apathy towards humans. We are just numbers to you – people waiting to be converted to Christianity.
Try googling “Atrocities in the Bible”. God is by far the most prolific mass murderer in the history of humanity.
“Kill one man and you’re a murder. Kill thousands and you’re a conqueror. Kill everyone and you’re God.”
The Biblical God is ill tempered, arrogant and vengeful. He’s simply not worthy of praise or worship by anybody who values basic decency. Any human being who behaved like the God of the Bible would be considered evil beyond comprehension. If somebody wants to worship a blood thirsty deity that delights in torturing humans, and created a species which he makes miserable for his own entertainment, well, you’re more than welcome to live your life as His obsequious servant.
I can’t understand how anybody who’s studied the Bible would choose to align themselves with a character as reprehensible as God.