These people who threaten to commit suicide by downing a bottle of Tylenol or jumping from the second story window of their house are just kidding themselves. If you’re really going to, please spare us the lame details that make it unlikely that it’ll be successful. If you want real help and support from others, state that you feel like ending it all. That’s enough to draw attention from others to give you words of encouragement. That’s what you obviously need. If you really wanted to end it, you’d use a method that would likely ensure fatality.
Sometimes I want to die, too. One day when I actually decide to truly do it, I’ll use a reliable method. I doubt I’ll post a note anywhere.  I don’t owe anyone a note or explanation. In the meantime, there are moments I change my mind temporarily so I can enjoy whatever mundane, heathen pleasures I can before checking out. Once I die I guess it won’t matter whether or not I enjoyed life. After all, once I’m dead, I won’t know I ever had life at one time. That’s the biggest encouragement I have.
31 comments
This really sounds like you’re belittling them, but I’m not sure if you’d meant it that way. Personally, I plan on using a method with a high fatality rate when I choose to commit, but I’m sure there are others who are unable to use other methods, for whatever their reasons may be. Maybe they’ve been terribly misinformed, who knows?
Well on the subject of just saying it, I’ll just assume you’ve never tried to tell someone how you feel. Or you’re one of those people who have suffered until the point where you’ve got an iron heart, lucky you. But, my own experience with telling anyone that I was depressed even (not suicidal) made me cry so much that I wouldn’t dare lift my face or utter a word for two hours after. Of course, I’m probably not as strong as some others, this was just what happened to me.
As for the note, well it’s your own opinion. I wouldn’t write anything too long and rambling either, but I would write something. I’m sure some people want to have some memento for their family, maybe tell them what was going on, or tell them to not blame themselves.
Anyways, the point is I’m sure most of these people jump out the window, or down those pills with the intentions to die, and writing this post could potentially hurt a lot of people.
Seen enough of these kind of complaints on this site. Getting a bit tiresome witnessing members trying to outdo one another or the so-called mature adults bashing the youngsters. Whatever. I don’t care either way.
Please don’t retaliate in a way that a child having a temper tantrum would (I won’t listen anyways) — I’m not trying to start a fight here ok.
If someone feels belittled after hearing truth, it doesn’t make sense, but I understand it happens. People, this is the Internet where no one knows who you are unless you reveal your identity. So, you can be very candid about your thoughts without having to feel embarrassed or unable to express yourselves. Better to be up front and honest about wanting to die than to make some we-can’t-tell-if-the-note-is-real-or-not statement online about some method you plan to use that isn’t likely to bring death. It’s more purposeful to state that you want to die–you’ll receive immediate support, likely from others here!
If there’s one thing humans lack skills in that I’ve noticed throghout my life, it’s communication! For those who wish to continue living, it’s paramount to your survival and enjoyment of life to improve your communication skills, to be as honest as you can in stating how you feel and what you need. No one should have to know how to interpret your insinuations and innuendos about how you feel. If you have trouble expressing how you feel, learn a few scripts–something like “I can’t put into words at the moment how I’m feeling” or “I really want to die”. Dishonesty–talking to the left of what you actually mean–isn’t helpful. HONESTY is helpful.
“I’m sure there are others who are unable to use other methods, for whatever their reasons may be.”
Sure, but going toward Tylenol or something like that isn’t going to do the “job”. Even research shows that. Better to just say “I hate life and wish I had access to a real method to bring my death” rather than say you’re going to take your half bottle of aspirins or whatever and never see anyone again. Come on!
“…writing this post could potentially hurt a lot of people.”
Please state how so. Writing my post that tells the truth could hurt a lot of people? People–help is readily available!!! I encourage people to be honest about their feelings. Probably a reason that so many want to die is that they’ve learned to live hiding behind feelings and not expressing them truly. It’s okay to be honest!! Again, if one doesn’t know how to communicate that, use a script for the time being.
“Seen enough of these kind of complaints on this site. Getting a bit tiresome witnessing members trying to outdo one another or the so-called mature adults bashing the youngsters. Whatever. I don’t care either way.”
If you’re referring to my post, you’re misinterpreting it. I’m neither trying to outdo or bash anyone. If you’re honest about “Whatever. I don’t care either way” why did you even bother replying??
“Please don’t retaliate in a way that a child having a temper tantrum would (I won’t listen anyways) — I’m not trying to start a fight here ok.”
WHAT child-like temper tantrum retaliation are you talking about?! I’m not trying to start a fight here, either, if you’re referring to me. If you think I am, please quote exactly
what I’ve said that led you believe so.
Maybe some of those people are legitimately trying to kill themselves, maybe they’re just seeking help passive-aggressively because they can’t ask for help directly. Suicide is such a taboo topic in society, there’s such stigma attached to it, it’s no wonder people have difficulty talking about it. I find it interesting that in Geo Stone’s book about suicide methods, he discusses the appropriateness of each for “suicidal gesture.” I personally have had times where I desperately felt I wanted to talk about it, but still have not felt ABLE to talk to anyone about it… except my therapist. I think it’s because I don’t want to burden anyone. Maybe I just don’t trust anyone else enough.
I also find it interesting that only something like 20% of suicides leave a note, and that the purpose of the notes are polar opposites: an attempt to either cause people guilt or relieve it. I have about 10 notes drafted to various people. Quite lengthy but all incomplete at this point. If I ever go through with it I will handwrite them out and leave them for people as an attempt to explain things to them and assure them it wasn’t their fault. I realize some will feel guilty anyway but I have to try.
15 floors generally does the job
Anyone can be anonymous on the Internet which makes it easier to talk about taboo subjects. I want to encourage people to be honest and to try to say what it is that’s bothering them. As I commented above, scripts can be useful as a start if direct sharing is too difficult. Anything is better than dishonesty. There’s no reason even a passive-aggressive person shouldn’t be able to understand that.
Likely no note for me, except to say “Hey, religious inculcation and lifelong prayer helped a lot, didn’t it!” Hooray for the power of intercessory prayer.
Hehe. Nothing and no one, actually. I skimmed your lengthy replies kiddo. Do me a favor — permanently delete my comments (including this one).
Umbra: Your writing has made little sense from the beginning. Who the hell are you addressing to permanently delete your comments? Absolutely no favors for you until you start making sense.
I know.. If you took the time to get to know me, then maybe you’d understand a smidgen of what goes through my mind (it isn’t pleasant and I wish it would stop).
Oh, I was referring to you. The author can delete the comments on their posts.
Do you hate me?
No, I don’t hate you. Why do you ask? Or, what did I say that prompted you to ask?
The reality is–I don’t have time to get to know everyone online. I only have your words to go by, not what you *didn’t* say.
Why should I delete your comments? This is a free speech forum. So long as you aren’t putting up spam or something illegal, I’ll leave them up.
“The only way to tell the truth is to speak with kindness. Only the words of a loving (person) can be heard.” – Henry David Thoreau … “Kindness stems from compassion. It’s the ability to understand what another is experiencing from personal experience or imagining their situation.” … “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far
more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.†– Benjamin Franklin …
Sometimes saying something truthfully and candidly comes across as unkind. It’s not wrong to be truthful even when the truth, at times, will not feel comfortable. Ongoing kindness to people who are dishonest will not likely help them snap out of their funk.
“At around age 8, I swallowed a few ibuprofen, thinking that my exceeding the maximum recommended dosage at bedtime would help me to never wake up. Maybe the attempt seemed innocent but as a child I truly believed it would cause my death, which shows the longstanding tendency I’ve had toward wanting to end my life” ~myownway (from bio)
Your intent and the honesty of your words in your initial post are spot on … but your delivery is a bit harsh, combative and condescending and that delivery detracts from the message … not everyone has experienced everything as you have … some are just now at the same place as you were when you were 8 and they might actually believe as you did in earnest … don’t knock them for that.
that said, it sounds like you have a lot to offer here and hopefully you’ll receive positive perspective and insights in return to make your life at least more bearable.
Welcome to SP
house warming dawg
“Speak your truth with kindness by transcending the nice vs. mean dichotomy” – http://ginigrey.com/spiritualtransformers/speak-your-truth-with-kindness/ – This /may/ help … Good luck …
One guy said on here that he was going to suicide by downing 20 cans of Red Bull because he read somewhere that it gave you wings.
I understand how you might find it annoying or wrong. They don’t see it as attention seeking, it’s part of their personality. Do you remember as a child, threatening your parents you’ll do something stupid if they didn’t accede to your demands. I suspect it’s that same kind of mentality. Do these people genuinely want to kill themselves, I suspect not. It’s a way of expressing their anguish.
What does it matter anyway. Do you know, if I was a more efficient and intelligent person I wouldn’t concern myself with such things like having opinions on these topics. It exemplifies everything with myself, my own life, I am unhappy about. I regret that aspect of myself.
No one told me at that age that my attempt would be ineffective because no one knew about my attempt to be able to tell me so. Here, people make their plans obvious. They deserve to be informed that their likely unfatal attempts may only maim them long term, giving them more to deal with than what they already have on their plates. There should be no beating around the bush with this, especially when it keeps happening.
It’s your perception that what I’ve commented on is “harsh, combative and condescending”. It’s not uncommon for people to perceive this when their own beliefs on this topic are met with questions or different views. I understand that not everyone will agree with me. Not everyone finds the candid approach useful for these topics.
May I correspond with you privately via e-mail?
Sublimity: I was a compliant child. I didn’t make threats to my parents. I would have gotten my mouth slapped, a wooden spoon broken on my ass, or made to sleep on a cold bathroom floor all night like my brother had to.
So, why not help a Red Bull person out of their delusions by offering some truth?
When you explore your reasoning, it may occur to you that:
Some people cannot be helped/ do not wish to be helped or do not require help.
You cannot change a persons entire being, not least through an Internet website.
How do we know we are being helpful.
Expressing an opinion for the purposes of creating a topic of debate is not the same intention as helping somebody
I don’t care so much now and I don’t want to give the impression I do which is why I don’t mislead people. I say from the outset, I’m not here to be a helper, greenpeace, let’s all be friends guy. If someone wants to OD on Red Bull, good luck with that.
Umbra,
Thanks for asking. I’d prefer not to go the private email route. I rarely do that with people I don’t already know so please don’t take it personally. You’re welcome to state your concern/question/response here publicly. Other people might benefit from it.
Sublimity:
“Some people cannot be helped/ do not wish to be helped or do not require help.”
I agree with this statement.
“You cannot change a persons entire being, not least through an Internet website.”
I wouldn’t know how to substantiate whether someone’s entire being could be changed from any action whatsoever.
“How do we know we are being helpful.”
Good question. If we don’t know for sure, should we just not say anything?
“Expressing an opinion for the purposes of creating a topic of debate is not the same intention as helping somebody”
I’m left to wonder what you’re implying here.
No offense taken. It’s not often that I’d offer my e-mail to strangers. I think a private messaging system should be integrated into SP.
This is an interesting topic/debate.
If it’s not in you to point out the success rate of their suicide rate then don’t. You are in no way responsible for some critter over the internet and don’t have to be the friendly face/text telling people that it’s okay and it will get better. Or even the opposite entirely.
We learn from our mistakes, especially the failed suicidal ones. I also thought that sp didn’t allow you to post methods? Isn’t suicide to some extent for attention? You are going to be noticed as a corpse, even briefly. Someone will take not of the corpsey entity that was once you. Regardless of method and underlying circumstance. And regardless (I love this word at 4am in the morning) of whether or not they wanted it in the first place. Don’t people post to sp for that? Even if it is poorly written words of reassurance from someone with a fondness for slang, that’s something.
Sublimity: I really liked your last two points and myownways’ responses. I will never know if I helped anyone until they tell me. IRL or on the internets. I will however continue to offer my opinion where I go (like the pompous creature I probably am). I will try to genuinely help where I will as well. I will never just refuse to acknowledge those I care about and as for those I have no knowledge of or attachment to, I will offer what little I may or want to. Now off to twitch in the corner
Faithless,
I don’t quite understand everything you wrote, but best wishes to you. Btw, about posting methods…SP is not supposed to be a place where people post methods for the purpose of encouraging others to use them to end their lives. Talking *about* methods objectively in the context of their dangers or non-lethality is okay, I think. Thankfully, I don’t think anyone in this thread has talked about methods inappropriately.
I hope you’re going to “twitch in the corner” due to some chronic muscular twitch you can’t seem to kick?
The ironic thing is that most of us on this site probably struggle with suicidal feelings. So, while I may come across as chiding in some moments…I, too, would like to sometimes go “twitch in a corner” (in the end-it-all sense).
Perhaps ending it soon,
myOWNway 🙂
Myownway,
I am very tired and apparently incoherent at present. I can see daylight so I suppose that is a little justified. Reviewing my own post left me a little amused really. And I apologise for it. Actually I think anything is amusing right now, silly internet.
No muscular twitch just a touch of insomnia. Today I will be a well functioning Faithlessbeast indeed.
Yep. Despite my attempts at advice and suggestions. I too am all for the suicide thing despite attempts otherwise. Tis why am on this site. Looking for validation or other flimsy reassurance that I am not crazy. That it can be this way etc. Maybe I should just blame the medication actually. Tis the most easiest excuse in the world.
Regardless (I’m trying not to use that but failed) of the brief acquaintance your eloquence with language is something that will be missed, at least by tired, crazy and drooling critters like me.
Faithless
Faithless: I can’t attest to your craziness but you sure as hell are funny.
And here I was attempting sincerity. Oh woe is me. ^_^ <— Tis a very good smiley for despair.
See, I would interpret that smiley as being facetious! 😀