Why do things have to be complicated?
They tell us that they’re just challenges we should face.
But when? When does it all end? Does it even end?
Are we all fighting right now? Or am I the only one who thinks this way?
Is someone else bleeding? Are we all bleeding? I don’t understand,
Why? Why is life so complicated? One day you’re happy then the next day your whole life is falling apart.
Are all of us going through this or have you felt this way?
Yes we have different problems but we all suffer.
How do they tolerate the pain? How do they smile even there’s rain?
When raindrops fall my tears do the same, Â but they run around like life’s a game.
Are some of us just damned to feel this way? Maybe other people are just good at carving happy faces.
Maybe they’re just lucky and I’m damned. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
After stabbing myself do I go to a special place? Or lie in bed under the ground while worms feed on my remains?
Is life really complicated? Or do we complicate them? I don’t quite understand why things should be complicated.
4 comments
@jesthenewgirl: First off, no, you are not alone. I feel exactly as you describe and have for most of my life. Since early childhood. I don’t understand it and the more I try to figure it out the more I just want to end it. So yes, there are others of us out here bleeding as well. Secondly, I don’t know what your struggle is, and don’t need to here it to understand that you are hurting. People will tell us we have to hang on. My question is… Hang on to what? A life that is nothing but misery? Awaking to the same thing everyday, hating the fact that you have to go through the motions yet again? No. I don’t understand either. I wish I had the answers for you and me both. But I can’t figure it out. I wish you well though, whatever road you choose.
Here I should be saying, “Don’t lose hope” or “Life is beautiful, something good will happen”. So that you don’t lose hope.
But is there any hope? When everyday is same. All the dreams you buried last night come back and haunt you. Its not you bleeding, but the soul. And they say, souls don’t die???
I just hope you know how long to hold on to. And how long to wait. If there is anything, anything at all to hold on, don’t let go before it lets go of you. If nothing waits for you, then join us, we all are anyways going towards the bright & shiny end of the tunnel.
@SQ: Yes! Yes! Yes! You have so perfectly put into words what so many of us feel every single day! I look everyday for reasons to go on, knowing that sooner or later (but probably sooner) will come a day that the hurt will be stronger than the will to give it a go one more day. I have accepted it at this point and am (sadly) ok with it. We are all going to die somewhere, some how , some way. It is inevitable. I will only be choosing the time and method. Not encouraging anyone to do this. Please keep fighting. But I’m close to my ending.
Not knowing is what triggers more pain. Not knowing if what we’re holding onto is worth it, not knowing if it’s really there or just false hope. Not knowing makes us wait miserably for something we are not sure of and it makes us grow more and more impatient everyday. Not knowing makes it all worse, it makes me wanna kill myself yet save me from myself at the same time.