Bad memories

When I was little, I was traumatized when I was stung by bees and had to be rushed to the hospital. My mother is a very anxious and paranoid person and always thought that people were out to get her and taught me to think the same way as a child. My father became abusive when he saw any sign of weakness or vulnerability in me. Another trauma was when I was mobbed by some kids who had a baseball bat and hit me in the head with a football while I was riding by on my bike. The fear of them was far worse than what actually happened. I told my father about it years later and he said that it was all a lie. After the numerous times he has been verbally abusive to me and not at all supportive, I have almost no relationship with him at all and that is the way I want it. There was an incident in college which was very much like the first traumatic mobbing incident. It brought back flashbacks of the original trauma. I thought that I was never going to escape being bullied by groups of people. I made a weak attempt at slashing my wrists in my bed in my dorm room.

My parents had these ridiculous expectations that I was going to become outrageously successful. At the time, my only goal was to become fully independent of them and to heal the scars from the traumas of my childhood.

All I can say is that no matter how bad things seem to be, they get better.