I’ve been feeling better these last few days. Don’t really know why. Part of it is that I have been communicating with people a little more, though only through email, and I’ve felt a little less isolated. It’s strange though, even when my mood improves a bit THAT can turn into a source of anxiety as well. I wonder when it will get bad again, wonder if I just haven’t climbed to a slightly higher perch to drop from next time. I start to dwell on this and it’s like a weight growing on my back and I can feel my limbs getting tired. If I even feel bad about feeling better how am I going to make it? When is the payoff? I’m sitting here writing this and I feel the black all around me, pressing in just a little more than yesterday. I am wondering now if the good days are really the worst of all.
I know, there just isn’t pleasing some people, right? lol
3 comments
Whenever things get good, I just keep wondering when life is going to turn around and be like “LOL JK” and screw me over again.
Yeah, it’s hard to even just please yourself~ And yes, the good days are worth it.
I prefer to think that its the change that is unsettling you, rather than the good days. Even good change takes some adjusting to. Glad you are feeling better antway