There’s a guy that I love that, because of distance, I can’t date.
I really love him and he swears he loves me but-he doesn’t “do long distance” which is pretty much what we’re already doing. It’s exactly the same but I try not to let that hurt me.
I’m so afraid to lose him though…thinking of him, how I love talking to him and making him happy helps me survive the day. But-he’s not MINE. He’s not my boyfriend-he could leave and I wouldn’t be able to stop him. Thinking of us being together makes me smile and that helps push away the suicidal thoughts.
We were talking and it hit me that…the chances of us even talking for very long is slim.
I kinda always knew that-but now it hurts and I feel heart broken.
I’m afraid that now, I’ll start feeling like I have nothing to live for. If I won’t be with someone so amazing then why can’t I just sleep and never wake up?
2 comments
I hate to burst your bubble but nobody is perfect. And, nobody can lookout for you except you.
I will never say it enough times and the world will keep making the same mistakes over and over again for eternity, yet, i still try to help.
You should not take the risk you are taking, as you are delegating the balance of your emotional life to a person you have never met and with whom you lead an internet relationship, which is close to nothing like real life.
You really need to protect yourself first before enganging in any relationship, because you are not moved by love but by necessity and needs of all kinds, support, care, company, etc etc.
People really need to examine themselves to understand the nature of the relationships they engage in.
Note that I am not saying anything against this guy I don’t know, but I am saying that you should not expose yourself to that risk given the delcate emotionally vulnerable state in which you find yourself at the moment.
It is safer to start relating to people who are close to you, instead of virtual stuff.
Hugs
O