I swear I can’t keep track of myself. I go from desperately wanting to die, to thinking that maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m kind of at a point where I would like to pick one feeling and go with it. My internal death goes on and on, and then one day I’m ok for a week or so, and then I take the plunge again. I don’t know who I am, and quite possibly have never known. Why is this such a damn challenge? It’s like shit or get off the pot already. Damn life.
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6 comments
I know right!? It’s like life wants to teach you a lesson or something.
Lessons are exhausting. Life is exhausting. Depression is exhausting.
Story of my life. One day I’m motivated to go be somebody then next I just want to sit and do nothing forever. The middle is so hard to come by! So stressfulllll
It’s not even a motivation thing for me. It’s one day I just want to be done, and another day I’m fine. I’m glad I’m not the only way up or way down one.
O can completely relate. The brief glimpse of relief or “up” is almost like life torturing you and reminding you how bad the downs are. I always felt like if you were always down it would actually be easier n/c you would forget whay feeling ok was like. Up down up down is just like being swatted around like a cat playing with a mouse
Very good analogy jimmy jam. And it’s true, I would rather be down all the time than get a glimpse of what life should be like here and there. Or I guess what it COULD be like. How do we fix this problem? Or can it even be fixed? I have no idea. Maybe that’s why I feel like I can never be happy. The fear of emotional yo yo and what it does to not only me, but my family too. That’s why many times I feel they would be better off without my Debby Downer self.