So after being unemployed for years (I have been going to University in the mean time) I think I may have found a part time job, bringing me lots of relief. Telling my friends, they congratulated me and one of them even gave me a card wishing me luck.
My friends and mum were very excited for me, keep asking me about it, and show happiness and congratulations everyday.
Is this the normal reaction?
In contrast my brother and his wife when told, just asked about the job, whether I had it yet or not (I am on trial) then changed the subject, they were visibly bored about the conversation and looked at my mum with disdain/confusion when she told them how exciting it was, and that she was happy. She brought it up because she was bursting at the seams waiting for me to tell them.
Is this the normal reaction?
I have trouble with this stuff so I would like to know your opinions please.
7 comments
Well depending on what kind of problems you have, it could be that your mom and sister are trying to make you feel better, and make it seem like things are changing for the better because of your problems.
Normally a person wouldn’t give a card.
My best friend gave me the card, wishing me good luck because she new I was nervous. Just to clear up, I don’t have a sister.
What about my brother and sister in laws response? Was that normal?
It sounds to me like they are jelous, don’t want you to get the attention, especially from your mum and are downplaying it. My family does that to me. No, they should have at least smiled and said thats great or something. YOU are the important thing, not the dull question about the details. ‘
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Ignore it or take it as a compliment that they are threatened by your success. Probably just ignore it.
btw, thats great that you might get the job!
Thanks so much, I am just confused because I am getting such mixed messages. I think they don’t realise how hard it has been for me to get a job, and now that I could potentially have one, they feel like it’s not a big deal because I should already have one?
If that makes sense.
When they left (They were visiting, I live with my mum) I just felt so jealous of others that belong to supportive families, close families. I wish I had that.
You and me both! It’s really hurt me too. I understand that feeling very well. I used to read a lot when I was little and it seemed in so many of the stories the families really cared about each other and cheered each other up.
I know really well that feeling when you tell them something you are excited or happy about and they kind of stare at you blankly. And you deflate like a balloon. It sucks. Finally I realised they were envious or something. And that feels so wrong.
ANd I ;mean, why should you already have a job? Says who? I bet if you alread had a job they wouldn’t be enthuriastic about that either. So try not to let it get you down.
Chin up me ol china! (sorry, what a crappy thing to tell you but I thought it might make you smile.) =) It sounds like your mum is happy for you?
Don’t let your family define you. It is really good that you have a chance for this job. I think its great. It is so hard to get a job now.
And still, I know how this stuff stays with you and can affect you. It will probably fade in a day or so. Please try not to let them hurt you. <3
Siblings are not always the most supportive. Congratulations, you should be proud.
I know it’s not a huge deal, it’s not like I overcame my depression or something like that, people get jobs everyday but I felt like a congrats or good work was needed from them. But I wanted to make sure my feelings had merit.
Thanks for sharing guys, I won’t let them run me down. I am glad to have had the chance at a job, that’s all that matters in the long run.
@butterfly_free, Thanks so much for helping me through this by disclosing your own story, I really appreciate it!
My friends all have really close families and it’s really hard to find someone to talk to about this stuff.