bummed…

I’ve had a pretty pleasant week but now I’m just run down. I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and how I have no clue what I’m doing with my life. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time doing nothing and now here I am at the end of my high school career with no job, no college acceptance, and no future plan. Sure I have dreams of being an actor and possibly doing tv shows or Broadway, but I can’t do that without going to college. I know there are plenty of people who have become successful actors without going to college but I don’t think I would ever be that lucky. It makes me so sad to think about all of my close friends who will be leaving in a month or so to go to college and I’ll be stuck here in my hometown with no one. I so desperately want to leave for a few months and meet new people and have some new experiences. But right now I feel like that’s never going to happen and that I’ll always be stuck here with the same people and the same low feelings. I wish I had someone to talk to. Like a real person. None of my friends at school who say they care but really don’t. I need someone genuine, someone who doesn’t judge, someone who doesn’t compare my life to their’s. There is someone I’ve been meaning to reach out to for a while but I haven’t because it would cause a lot of conflict. But she was and has been really the only person I’ve been able to go to for anything and felt like I could open up to. Hmmm, I’ll have to think on that some more before I make any big decisions. I think all of my feelings right down boil down to the thought that over the past couple of years I just haven’t had any help….and I’m so stuck.