G’day,
It has been a heavily frustrating and lonely road for the last 15 or so years. Social anxiety has consumed much of this time and although I’ve attempted suicide once before, it has been very difficult to make another attempt. This may be a very positive thing; but, I can’t help but feel an increased sense of anxiety with each failed attempt at meeting with new people.
It’s interesting that as I get more comfortable with being a social outcast, it seems that I lose more of my social ability, from what little there was to begin with anyway.
It may be something to do with giving up on the desire to please others and becoming more distant as a result. Whatever the reason, it seems now that I’m more content being the quiet outcast, especially once I can get away and be alone again. That doesn’t stop the smirks of ridicule and the judgement of others, but there really isn’t anything I can do about that.
Hope you are all okay. Well maybe not, but we are here after all.