I want to kill myself.

You know.. I can see that you post this because you want to express something to us. The nice thing about blog is that you can “think it through” and tell us what exactly is going on in details. This post provides no context of what-so-ever, so I had to dig back to your previous post.

But then, in your previous post, I still don’t know what kind of issues you are really going through. It seems that a girl was teasing you, but at the same time, was testing your response. So what if that did not turn you on? Not everything has to be sexual now does it? Have you tried to experiment some more with whatever that works for you? We live in an over-sexualized world where sex sells products/services on tv, on movies, and everywhere. So it is quite normal to get turned off most of the time.

Now, if previous post is totally unrelated to your current post, can you elaborate some more as to what situations and context that torment you with all these complex emotions? Try to write a long post or something. Someone is bound to read and understand better that way