My purpose

It’s weird. I read everyone else’s stories and I see a light in every story. I feel like everyone can get better. Even when things seem hopeless. Everyone except me. I see no way out other than death. I know I will only be happy when I end it, or when god ends it for me. I pray at least once a day god will kill me naturally because it would be better for everyone that way. However, I guess since it would actually make me happy to finally die of natural causes, god of course keeps me here in this prison of a body. I think he wants me to kill myself. Maybe that is my purpose.