It’s weird. I read everyone else’s stories and I see a light in every story. I feel like everyone can get better. Even when things seem hopeless. Everyone except me. I see no way out other than death. I know I will only be happy when I end it, or when god ends it for me. I pray at least once a day god will kill me naturally because it would be better for everyone that way. However, I guess since it would actually make me happy to finally die of natural causes, god of course keeps me here in this prison of a body. […]
I know someone has probably asked this before, but here is my dilemma. My family knows I’m extremely depressed and suicidal. I’ve been this way for more than 10 years. I’ve seen therapists. Â I’ve taken the pills. I’ve seen the counselors and licensed professionals. I stayed in the hospital for Â about a week and a half and was absolutely miserable. I did all the things and spent all the money on what I was supposed to in order to “get better”. My question now is should I leave a note? Â I feel like at this point, my suicide is pretty self explanatory. Plus I don’t […]
I hate feeling like this every day.Â I hate never wanting to get out of bed.Â I hate knowing that things will never get better no matter how hard I try.Â I hate knowing that I was doomed from the start to end up like this. I hate how other girls Â whine and complain about how terrible their lives are, and yet they have boyfriends.Â Like, seriously, SHUT UP. At least SOMEONE cares.Â At least you have enough luck that guys are willing to be seen in public with you and you still have the hope of a happy ending.Â I have no hope.Â I have no […]
What a joke. I actually thought my life would get better. Ha! The first time I really considered suicide was in 8th grade but, I talked myself out of it because I thought surely this was only a rough patch and things would get better eventually. The second time I seriously considered suicide was in 10th grade but I thought that maybe once I got out of high school, things would actually begin to improve. Maybe when I reached college I would finally start having the life I was supposed to have with friends that cared, guys actually liking me, independence, goals…Well, freshman year of […]
I’m in the process of taking painkillers that I’m chasing with vodka/rum. I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember. I’ve wanted to die for so long. I waited and prayed for God to kill me but he never did so now I’m going to do it my way now.
Its funny. My life could be a lot worse. I made the cheerleading squad at the college I’m transferring to. Something I wanted really bad and worked really really hard for. I got a good internship for this summer that not only will pay well but will look good on my resume […]
So I think I’m finally going to kill myself. Â After years and years of struggling I’m finally doing it and surprisingly I feel pretty good about it. Â I never thought it would be this easy since I have always had an internal struggle about it before, but now I just really don’t care. Â I guess its because I’m not a christian anymore.
I gave it a good run, I really did. Â I did the Â “hold on and it will get better” “you’re still so young and there’s so much you would miss out on in the future if you killed yourself now” idea and guess […]
I really never wanted to write a post on this website.Â Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well.Â It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…
I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing.Â I really don’t get it.Â Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore?Â Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving?Â Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because […]