I can’t do this anymore I only have one option! I thought me and my daughter were close she hates me! I have conversion disorder that means when I’m stressed I have gran mal seizures! I got this disorder from a very sick man named Dell Mosher! He raped me for so long when I was a kid because of this I have no worth at all! I refuse to put my family through this anymore. The only way is to get out of this world! My so called fiancé calls me a disgusting cripple! I’ve made my piece with it because that’s exactly what I am! My daughter was the only person to keep me going but now she hates me. So there’s nothing left to live for! There’s a lot more to my abuse but maybe I’ll tell that another time. That is if I’m still alive! Thank you for hearing me out! 🙁 Please somebody anybody help me I’m begging here all alone!
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I’m having a difficult time understanding what’s happening with you. If I am getting it, you are saying that these seizures are involuntarily caused by stress and are making people not want to be around you.
I’m not trying to be hurtful when I say it seems as though you might be a little obsessed with this condition you have and other people might see it as you being controlling when/if you expect others to keep you stress free to prevent you from having seizures even if it means doing things they don’t want to do?
If that is at all true, it’s never too late to change. And people will forgive you for your actions if you make an endeavor to change as well.
Here’s a good guide to improving your happiness. Maybe it can help. http://lifehacker.com/5991218/want-to-be-happier-stop-doing-these-10-things-right-now
If I’m misunderstanding here, please let me know.
Your never alone here because this is a place for pain. I’m sorry for your painful expiriences. I don’t know what it’s like but I do know pain because I’ve been in pain in the inside for half of this year.
I saw this earlier. I feel a bit bad that I didn’t comment (it was just a bit triggering for me) , not that I was likely to provide anything of much help. Sexual abuse, more so that which occurs during childhood, in my opinion, has devastating consequences, even to the extent of just crippling one psychologically, and preventing one from having any quality of life, unless you’re hopefully able to find the support necessary to process and help you through this. I hope you’re okay. Take care.
Why does your daughter hate you? What kind of person are you engaged to? Did you bring the rapist to court? Did you tell the cops, file a complaint? Anything? Maybe you can sue him. Maybe not but I’m just saying.
Why…
Why do women insist on pursuing mates who mistreat them?
I can only hope that he assumes that you must know he’s joking.
Otherwise, WHY THE FUCK would ANYONE marry someone who calls them “a disgusting cripple!?”
Why would you continually subject yourself to that?
How can you still find someone like that attractive?
Shit like this makes me RAGE.
Let me start off by saying, I’m so sorry about the rape.
I was a child and got abused and was also at one time the abuser. As I realize this is not my intire fault, I do blame myself none the less.
I’m guessing I’m a lot younger than you, but you can always chat if needed.
Perhaps, experiences can be shared, I don’t know.
brl.cents@gmail.com is my email.
The man that raped me went to prison because my best friend made me tell my mom. They found evidence of it in a photo album of me in various states of undress. Also I had to go to a doctor to check me out down there and they found evidence of rape! He was sentenced to 10yrs. But got out in 3! He’s dead now he was an old disgusting man! I’ve had other abuse too! My brother was forced to babysit me he’s 9yrs. Older than me anyway he hated me because of that so he constantly beat me and scare me to the point of throwing up! Then later at the age of 13 my mother started to mentally abuse me she would scream with a growl! I got pregnant with my daughter at 15yrs. old I had to run away so she wouldn’t make me get an abortion. Cops found me my mom was pissed so she said you deserved to be molested because you probably wanted it! It was like that all the time. And now I have to live back with her because of these seizures! It’s gotten worse i just don’t know where to go with my beautiful daughter. Oh yeah the seizures started because we got a call from a detective from palm beach that’s where I grew up at. Anyway he let me know that he killed a little girl just 2yrs. Before I moved in with him. It got me finally thinking about everything that he told me about telling me to not say anything or he would kill me and my mother. Then I get a call from the molester’s grandson! Del would make me and him have sex at least he would try to! Anyway about my beautiful daughter I’m always trying to not be like my mother who is sooooo abusive! I treat my daughter with respect we talk for hours and hours I’m always there for I go out of my way for everything when it comes to her. So believe me I caught me off guard when she said that she hates being with me! It broke me because I live for her and if she’s gone from me then what do I have to live for!?
He only said it once when we were arguing. He is usually super help full in fact he’s up here from palm beach to help me to stop going to the hospital because I’m constantly getting stitches my ear was even ripped in half twice . .he becomes my whipping post and I feel sick about that. I just wished I knew why I do that to him. I just wanna THANK YOU for being concerned . If you ever wanna talk I’m right hear to listen.