Sometimes/ most times it’s the littlest things that send me into a spiral. Today I thought I’d lost my wallet. I was at work over 50 miles from home and it was gone. At first I was calm retracing my steps then as I got closer and closer to not being able to find it in any of the locations I was at after I knew I had them last, it was like BOOM! Full on panic attack and spiral to why am I here, I hate being so miserable all the time, I just want to die. The dark place just swallowed me up. What I want to know is, why is it I can seemly handle all the big life decisions and curve balls but when it comes to the little day to day stuff I fall apart? Am I just making mountains out of molehills or is this common? Supposedly it’s the little things that make life memorable and I don’t want to remember my life as a series of one shot panic and despair. I really, truly want to be happy and yet I just can’t seem to get there. It always seems like obstacle after obstacle with no relief in sight, no gold cup shining at the end, just me struggling over the hurdles.Â Â I feel really discouraged today, like I had a set back and I’m never going to get better.