im tired of life. theres nothing anymore and everything means nothing more and more everyday. im losing more and more all the time. i dont care about anything. nothing means anything to me and there is nothing i want and no where in the world i want to live. i cant talk to people in the real world and have no friends. a couple days ago the closest friend i have (a guy i met online) attacked me at his house out in the woods and i thought for sure i would die. i had to mace him and run and hide in the woods until the police could find me. so now i feel more like ive lost everything. i cant be around family because i need to play “okay” for their own good. i cant be around TVs cause they are trying to put thoughts in my mind so i cant pass the time with that even. and theres other things i wont bother to mention. i get bothered about it now. told to go back to the doctor and take medicine for the schizophrenia that i took medicine for since i was a kid but i cant do that anymore. ive learned to many important messages now anyway that medicine could never erase. because im changed now and i see the truth and that is that the world is pointless. I have no where to live and i dont feel like being anywhere. Have to move every couple months anyway so no one gets to know me. I dont exactly wanna die. I dont wanna die but i feel dead and i discovered there is no meaning in life and no point. theres not even a point to brushing your teeth (unless to stop them from hurting). im just empty now and more empty everyday. and i cant decide where to go and where to live or how to live (homeless in a van or a hotel with no money). i just wanna lay down and give up. but after the fear i felt when i thought i wouldnt make it out of the woods i cant think of dying. i can only think of “being invisable”, “disappearing”. Im tired of this world and hate it but im also scared for my life most of the time. Its confusing….
*and if anyone knows who i am please keep it secret for my own safety
2 comments
furry teeth is a good sign that you’ve given up on some level. the furrier the longer the something or other.
do you like roller coasters? i like roller coasters. they’re such simple fun
hey thats pretty crazy that that happened to you..glad you got away..holy shit stuff like that rattles me to the core. people are fuckin nuts