Advise

I have no idea what to do or who to ask, so here I am. I have a friend, one of my best friends, although I haven’t known her for long, we have just recently gotten really close over these past few months. I have known her for about 2 years as more mutual friends. I have noticed recently that she has been really insecure about her looks, her body and anything about her, and has also recently been skipping meals. I know the signs, as I had previously a few years ago really struggled with depression and an ED. I am mostly recovered now, but I do know the signs, and it hurts me to think she’s going through this also. Although, at the same time, I know this is so selfish of me, I really just can’t stand it. I hate that she always comments on food and body image. It freaks me out when I know she’s skipping meals, and I feel so greedy when I eat breakfast and lunch, and she just has a coffee or nothing. It is so so selfish of me I know, and I know that I need to look after her, I just don’t know how. She wants me to bring it up, and I know she does. I just don’t even know how to go about it. But today was the day when she brang it up herself. I tried talking to her about it, but she gets all weird about it, and it hurts me to know that I really understand how she’s feeling, but I feel like I’m on the other side of the mirror trying to help her but not knowing how. I was in her position, although I went through it alone so I really don’t know what to say or do as a friend. She also doesn’t know I struggled with this stuff only knows well, at least I think, that I used to have ‘problems’. She would also not want to go see someone about it, I did and it helped me. She tells me how some other friend keeps asking her if she has eaten today and tells me how annoying it is, I get it, I really do I was in her position but at the same time, I should know what to say and do as I was her but I have no clue as to what to do! I’m mostly recovered and happy with myself for the first time in years, and I know this is so stupid and selfish of me to say, but I feel like this will take a toll on me as well, and I might even spiral back. I really want to help her, I really don’t know how and I know she needs to talk to someone about it but its just not going to be an option, and I want to talk to her about it but I feel it would affect me. In some ways, she is kind of a ‘glass child’; her sister has a lot of problems, and she sacrifices a lot, but I was always the sister with the ‘problems’, so at the same time, I really don’t know how that feels and I can understand how that feels (Ovoulsy it awful what she is going through and I can’t imagine it). Another thing is, and I hate to say this, but I would say I am ‘more attractive’ than her, I feel awful saying this. She uses this, and I know it makes me look so so up myself. Still, we go on a website similar to Omegle when we hang out sometimes. Guys always compliment me, and when guys say something like ‘you’re cute’, no specifying who, she automatically goes ‘her or me’ or just ‘its her right?’, and I feel like she’s making it into a competition as she’s so insecure, and I hate that. She really tries with the guys, always trying to impress and going out of her way to talk about herself or even sometimes trying to embarrass me or make me look bad. I understand why she does it, and I completely don’t blame her as she is going through things and problems with body image and stuff, but at the same time, it makes me feel really, really shitty. This is a really big rant, but I just feel like putting my problems out there in the open where no one from my life will see it and it a way for me to cope with his. Thank you to whoever took the time to read this.