Its ridiculous
i wake up everyday to nothing to pointless things
i shouldnt even be here right now, suppose to study for my exam tomorrow
whats the point anyways, im fucking failing.
i just keep stuffing my fat fucking face and i keep gaining and gaining
my family doesnt want me around because im always so depressed
i just eat and eat and eat till im sick and still
im so tired
of
everything
18 comments
Why does there need to be a point? What is a point? How does one acquire it?
Are there points to the things that animals do? I doubt they think about such things – they’re too busy trying to find food, or avoiding abrupt and unexpected death. We’re very spoiled as a species… we have the luxury of being about to exist in a state of pure idiocy because of our hyper-evolved intellectual capacity. We’re also very good at irony.
But that is the thing. Animals do not “think”. they survive based on instinct, everyday to them is to eat, sleep, hunt and protect their young. Yes it is true we are “spoiled” as a species, but we were created/made to think, there is a reason “brains” were given to us. I do not think it is a “luxury” just because you want to “think” to question one’s existence in life – is that so wrong? is everyone suppose to follow the logic where we go to school/work/get an education, then contribute to society? its a cycle, and why is one not allowed to question? why can one not question the point of things? It is not idiocy to feel upset if you keep going in a loop and have no answer.
I agree, I’m definately stuck in a painful loop with no answer on how to get out of it. Part of what brought me to SP. My therapist tried to help me develop a “purpose”, but his ideas didn’t gel. Just seemed pointless…
find your purpose
dont “develop” it
i think in time we all will find what we were ment to do and be, and that these times are tests to see if we can make it? i dont know, most days im so mentally tired…
sigh.
No one has an innate purpose, other than instinct-based survival and procreation.
I can’t survive, and it’s obvious to any potential mates, and so i won’t be allowed to procreate.
Now what? What “purpose” can there be?
We are not “given” purpose. We are not “given” brains. We simply come to exist, through the procreative encounters of those who survived well enough and long enough to do so.
We are not “meant” to do anything, except “live.” But we’re also “meant” to die. Everyone dies. Not everyone truly lives.
People who are raised to expect there to be some sort of “point” to life, like we have to be assigned some sort of “purpose” by some “divine being,” in order to even exist at all… tend to become very confused when that expectation does not yield the result they thought it should.
So, no. The only way to “find” your “purpose,” is to make one yourself. There is no purpose, otherwise.
The whole point, i think, is to figure out how to figure out what is the right purpose to make. Most people fail at that. Otherwise, the world wouldn’t be in its current state.
We are animals, too. If biology has taught us anything at all, the backbone of that knowledge is common descent of life. Animals are people who do not confuse themselves with symbols and future-speculation. In that sense, I’d say that animals are actually a lot smarter than human beings. We’re pretty silly, comparatively.
I mean animals outside our own peculiar species – pardon the borrowed vernacular.
@clevername you sound as if you know the answers to humanity and existence. then why may i ask are you still here contemplating? are you trying to “Create” your “own” purpose? or are you just there in a trance, wondering what to do with your life? not sure if tomorrow you want to get out of bed or do something. everyday is a question and full of worry and question
what are you doing with YOUR life?
I surely don’t have all the answers, but i probably have more understanding than anyone who bases their perception on a series of fantasies and false-constructs.
It’s not that i don’t know what i want my purpose to be; it’s that the implementation is quite complex, especially with all the resistance and obstruction from all the people who insist on flooding their environments (which affects me) with actions based on false beliefs and impossible fantasies.
So, in absence of an effective method of implementing my purpose, i do often wonder… what /else/ i might do with my life, since my purpose is obstructed by things i can’t adequately control, or even alter at all.
I know i want to get out of bed and do something. I also know that what i want to do, most likely will not be possible tomorrow, or maybe not even within the next 10 years… and so, in the absence of the availability of that path, i may decide to do nothing, while trying to think of something other than what i want, that is still worth doing. I think “figuring out what i want to do, aside from what i can’t” is probably worth doing. I’m just not sure there is anything “else” that i want enough to manifest sufficient motivation to actually accomplish it.
What am i doing with my life? Trying to save it, so that i can live what’s left of it, before what’s left becomes unlivable, i suppose.
You might say i have “grasped ultimate meaning” in my life. The answers people seek are dangerous, and to find them, understand them, and accept what they mean, is quite the onerous burden. It weighs heavily upon me, especially since it’s so… difficult… to adequately communicate to anyone else. I always find myself in-awe, mystified… even speechless, when i encounter someone else who seems to grasp the ineffable concepts i struggle to convey. It’s nice not having to explain it. It’s nice to know i wasn’t the only one “awake.”
Meanwhile, “my life” isn’t anything anyone would want to share. Perhaps that is ironic.
i get the feeling you are not dealing with your feelings directly. by choosing to bury your emotions deep inside, your essentially hurting your soul, because humans are ment to have feelings, feel a sense of want/need/comfort.
because you find currently no one “gets” you, or understands you; i think you feel rather out of place as you find yourself thinking and acting different then others.
what do you want to do that you say you cant? i guess the main reasons (That i can think of) is money, education and lack of support – but i still think you HAVENT grapsed your ultimate meaning. if your here, still contemplating and thinking everyday (your mind is great, may i praise you, your language and use of words make me speechless) about what you should do, or need to do, or want to do. then i think my friend, your not alone. just because you find that others answers are to big or impossible, doesnt mean that they dont think like you
it may be they dont tell you.
you speak of being “awake” – it is as if you are saying that society and the people we live with are “asleep”; as it not? if yes, then i do agree, but what else can we humans do? in a way we were created/born with the instinct that we would work/eat/drink/sleep/ and repeat. luxery and enjoyments were a side, but essentially human life is a cycle. we like to think of us unique but really want can we get in the end?
endless thinking and wonder and worry gets us no where and in the end, we “have” to do what we are “Suppose” to do
if your a child – go to school, adult – go to work, mother – raise your child etc
there are only a handful of people who can really “defy” or go against this and i hope you may be one them
don’t say that, everyone’s life is worth sharing
People in society are asleep – they’re saturated with the left-over bits of God’s corpse (among other rotting things) that haunt their minds and direct them into believing all sorts of ridiculous nonsense. Most people seem to have almost no awareness of the reality sitting right in front of them.
Right. We “have to” do what makes us miserable, and some of us get nothing but the perpetuation of our own torment, in return. That’s not worth doing, in my opinion.
The secret is: I don’t “have to” do /anything/.
I can choose to die, instead… and the only “penalty” for doing so, is that i sacrifice the chance to gain what i most likely never would have had anyway.
You guys are rehashing topics that were already explained over 60 years ago. Read Camus. There is no point, except for what you decide it to be.
After WW2 ended in Europe, the devastation was ubiquitous. There weren’t police, hospitals, or food in certain areas, Money had no value. Men patrolled the streets with clubs, women sold themselves for food and protection. There was no order, no paradigm in place. It was all about survival – fending for yourself. Day to day reality back then was far worse than most peoples current situation today. Existentialists back then also wondered “what’s the point”. There is no point. You were born, you’ll live, then you’ll die.
Deal with it. Have a nice day. 🙂
Also, there must sometimes be cake.
Thank You, Marie Antoinette. Those pesky peasants with all of their demands- it’s just so tiresome.
I had to accept, and understand, that, and why, i had become unlovable. I can’t make enough money, and my body isn’t good enough, and apparently, neither is my mind, since i can’t figure out how to fix one without the other, and both happen to be obstructed by things beyond my control. Why would anyone want to “share” that? Why would that be worth anything, to anyone? I have yet to meet anyone who thinks i am valuable despite those critical flaws. Why should i go around pretending to believe what i know isn’t true, just because it makes others comfortable, at my expense? Why should i work to perpetuate my own suffering, to please people who will never please me? Why should i strive for what i do not want? Why should i endure what i most want to never experience, with no hope of any chance at any worthy reward?
What about the feelings that simply cannot be dealt with or resolved, but only lived with? The more buried they become, the better. The more time spent on unresolvable feelings and problems, the less remains for anything worthwhile.
I am certainly “out of place.” I’ve never been “like everyone else.” I am capable of getting along with just about anyone… but i simply have no more desire to compromise for that which will not yield any worthwhile gains. I want to find people i like, not just manage to tolerate and coexist with people who do not appeal to me.
I realize there are probably others somewhat like me… but i am alone where it counts. It’s not that i think literally no one gets me, but that those who do are few and far between, and far away, or out of reach… and those i have no choice but to encounter in my environment regularly, lack the capacity to understand, and the obstacles they create as barriers to their own understanding, are too great for me to continually strive to bypass… and that is almost always directly attributable to their religious misguidance. They won’t allow themselves to understand what i try to convey, because they don’t want to think outside that little box in which they were raised… to believe that everyone is “given” a brain, “given” a purpose, and that there is some sort of “divine plan” and “underlying meaning” in life.
The reason i know the difference, is because i was not able to make mine… and so there isn’t one. The only “meaning,” is that i need to create a meaning through an effective method, or series of actions, in order to experience the living i have yet to know, and significantly reduce or eliminate my suffering, so that my life wasn’t wasted on simply working to perpetuate my own suffering, in pursuit of impossible dreams, just because i was “supposed to,” and because those who surrounded me, eliminated all other options, based on their erroneous beliefs.
The only reason i’m even alive, is because i have help… but it’s not enough, and it’s not the help that i need, and so i’m stuck in this life i don’t even want, unable to progress or proceed. All i can do is wait for the end, or call it as soon as i decide enough is enough.
Would any “all good, all knowing, all powerful God” knowingly, intentionally assign such a meaning to a person? Would “God” intend for his supposedly beloved creatures, to live miserably in despair, and wait to die? I can’t make that make sense. Nothing anyone can say, can convince me that is the case. The truth is that “God” is a “meme,” an idea, meant to influence people’s behavior, and give them something to fear, and something to hope for, so that they wouldn’t mind wasting their lives in toil for kings, while expecting an eternally blissful hereafter, in exchange for following the rules and being “good.”
There are plenty of potentially fulfilling things i would be content to spend my life doing, that i don’t need to be divinely ordained to care about or attempt or pursue. Meanwhile, the actions of others, which are frequently based on their false beliefs, have created obstacles i can’t pass, and my life is wasting away while i’m stuck.
Life and time are literally the most valuable things. I have had to face the reality that i must sacrifice those most precious things, in order to eliminate my torment. I mourn the life i never had, the things i’ll never do, and all the good i could have given… but i cannot continue as i am, i will not. I refuse.
But i fucking hate quitting. So i’ll probably spite myself by persisting miserably, until i’m completely certain that there is nothing more that i can possibly do, to right any of what’s wrong, and make better, enough, what needs to improve.
I doubt i can do it. But i will probably try anyway, sort of as a giant “fuck you” to the utter futility abound. On the other hand, suicide is the ultimate protest to being stuck in this ruined life i didn’t choose, in this world i didn’t build, feeling and being all these things i never wanted.
People sometimes ask me: Why don’t you quit smoking?
I answer “Nobody likes a quitter”
I read most of your comment, clevername. (Not the whole thing ’cause I have an undiagnosed case of Attention Deficit Disorder).
Whatever. I test drive my lame comedy shtick here on a suicidal audience.( C’mon they’re an easy audience
You’re an interesting guy, clevername. Don’t let my drunken sincerity misguide you. 🙂
It’s good to know that you exist in the world. The only reason I like you is because I agree with you roughly 81.6% of the time. That counts for something, right? It’s not as if I’m using you for your EA collection.
Heh. Man that “heh” always comes off as way less positive than i intend.
Anyway, i was looking at someone’s tumblr the other day (yeah, i know…) and saw a pic of a bunch of packs of smokes with the warning labels replaced by the message: “you’re going to die anyway.” I chuckled.
I’m a bit ADD too, and not the hyper-active kind… though i am hypersensitive and technically “gifted.” But the term “gifted” is all about innate capacity and potential, whereas being “talented” or “skilled” requires focused development. I also have uncanny kinetic and spacial awareness.
I honestly think that i’d make a great partner. It’s just that most chicks want a better-equipped guy who has reliable income and a surplus of resources. Look around to see the truth of this, as lots of “nice guys” go ignored, while countless women tolerate abuse, in order to maintain their access to “better-equipped” and financially stable guys… but then go and cry about how they’re “mean” or how they beat them, or whatever. They do it to themselves, because they’re getting what they want out of it. I’m alone because they won’t get what they want out of me, regardless of how well i might treat them, or how interesting or intelligent i may be. And i can’t fix it, because it’s not /my/ behavior or values causing the problem. It doesn’t even matter what i do. It only matters what i’m not.
Anybody wanna guess how that makes me feel?
In a word: Bad.
Anyone care to predict what happens to guys who feel that way for most of their lives, and never have anyone show them differently?
Anyone?
Perhaps i will request “KTHXBYE” to be the inscription on my tombstone, or urn. Or perhaps the table flipper emoticon. Decisions, decisions…
I sort of regret not just playing video games all day today. Now it’s tomorrow. /sigh