There lies a such clinging misery in the finality of someone you love leaving. It just sits there, lying on top of you for so, so long. There is nothing you could possibly attempt to actually take your mind off it for more than ten minutes. For me, it was when my ex left me. Someone who I cherished far more than I’ll ever feel myself, and who I put grand amounts of money and double that  in time. She meant the world to me, and I didn’t mean so much as to stay loyal to. She cheated on me seven times in the six months we were together. And it tore me right down the fucking centre. The finality of knowing that she was gone changed me. It’s almost as final as death herself. And it really gets me. Just the blunt force trauma of knowing they will never harm themselves by looking at you.
And I can’t fucking stand it
3 comments
I suppose i’m supposed to think it’s a good thing that i’m not the only one?
Oh, the irony of an accidental double-meaning…
Sometimes i think it would actually be better if my own wicked witch would have actually died, instead of just figuratively.
Nothing else could ever be quite so infuriatingly unbearable, or unbearably infuriating.
The best thing you can do is keep trying to disconnect it, and save what’s left of yourself… even if that feels like nothing.
Or you could look at it from the perspective of … In only six months i was able to uncover her true character … better … MUCH better than a six YEAR investment of time and treasure … additionally, you’re now aware of the signs and signals going forward.
silver linings dawg
Clevername speaks truth – “The best thing you can do is keep trying to disconnect it, and save what’s left of yourself… even if that feels like nothing.”
But you have to remember – did you feel like nothing BEFORE they came into your life, or was it only their departure that caused you to have such feelings?
If you felt perfectly fine before their influence on you, you can be fine afterwards. You WILL be fine.
I’m struggling with this situation myself, trying to forget an ex who, after proclaiming his undying affections, finally tired of me and seems to have moved on with another. And yet, I still see the good in him. I see everything that made me fall for him. I hate how he treats me, and how he has so quickly forgotten everything, but perhaps I am deserving of it. I made many mistakes, mistakes which I hope to have learned from. It hurts so much now, but I have faith that somehow I will be able to put it all behind me. It is difficult to even think of the worth of the good times we shared when now he wants nothing to do with me, but yet, I am glad I experienced what I did with him. I have loved and I have lost, but I will carry on, and I have faith that I can love again.