“If you die, I will never forgive you and I’ll never forget you”.

Erm, Hello…I’m a 15 year old girl and I’m shy.

My life began to crumble when I was 5. My parents broke up and I witnessed the shouting and screaming the punching and kicking and so on. From then my family noticed that I was becoming weird, I disconnected from my friends I became introvert and just not with the world. and I was in this ‘state’ for some time, I began having social fears against people and fears against animals and insects and my dreaded uncle, I was abused by him when I was 11-12, he would hurt me and I’d have vivid dreams of him killing me, over and over and over again, I could hear the surreal screams and I’d wake up, I draw pictures from my mind of cliffs and nooses and him..and me, I was also bullied, people would call me ’emo’ and tell my to cut myself and such and such. It hurt.

I then began cutting and by the time I was 14 I started to do mind numbing things. I wanted to die. The memories of my past started to flood my fragile mind of deathly thinking, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of killing everyone and everything, my careless thinking made me make a huge mistake.

I found myself with a paramedic in my room, she looked at my arms my legs and everything, I woke up from my subconscious mind. I woke up and realised what I had done, I hated myself. But the thoughts stopped. I didn’t want to die, I  realized that life is good, and I’m going to make it though.

A month later I found my boyfriend whom I love with all my heart, and he got me through this.

“If you die, I will never forgive you and I’ll never forget you”.