meditation

Its actually possible to coax yourself into cardiac arrest through careful meditation if you are trying to die.

You sit, with you eyes closed, and try to enduce what many people call an anxiety attack, or what i see as trying to remember where you were before you animated your body.

As a baby i can remember categorizing every experience i had, and knowing that whatever i was in-my body- was a highly advanced prison, designed to fool me into keep myself inside it.

I can remember taking account of and noticing my breathe, how many times i had inhaled and realizing that if i didn’t stop immediately it would be harder to stop altogether the more breathes i took. I can remember seeing and categorizing it as an experience by itself and realizing it was a penetrative phenomenon that distracted me from purity of the center of focus i had inside myself. I can remember hearing for the first time and categorizing it as a experience seperately, and knowing it was irrelevant, i witnessed my consciousness inadvertently synchronizing the experience of  sight and  the experience sound until i tool both for granted.

I can remember feeling for the first time and knowing it was a sign of my imprisonment but at the same time it wa turned into a pleasurable experience the more i endured it.

I can remember tasting for the first time and knowing i did not want to eat, but the more it was forced on to me the more i gave in to it.

Modern physics has already proven that we are in a holographic matrix.

Early on as a child i can remember planning certain experiences for myself in my life, consciously visualizing them and storing them in my unconscious until thety manifested. When i’d do this i had the vulnerability of having an anxiety attack in which i felt as if i was the only person that existed. But i was too young to understand what was happening and the world around me was reinforcing a different state of mind so i’d try to forget. I wanted my dream to prove it to me, that it was fake and that i should allow myself to pass on when i have anxiety attacks. Well now all the top physicists are telling me this isn’t real. It was the proof i was waiting for. But i locked myself into the five senses so deeply trying to ignore the truth, that now it is much harder for me to let go.

The hardest thing is eating. I like eating  so mush now.

I even heard a song on the internet radio station playing from the ceiling at whole foods that played a song whose chorus was “its okay if you want to die, its okay if you want to die!”

I definately believe it should be a persons choice and no one elses, as to whether they should continue living.

Anything else would be a gross violation of free will.