It’s always the same.
The feelings of being lost, worthless; having no purpose in whatever life I’m trying to create. Trying to feel alive again. Begging to feel happy even just content. Why must everything feel so cold and dark? When did my view become like this?
My skin holds my confusion, pain and frustration. Every notch on it reminds me of the lost soul I am. Yet it makes me feel like I can be found. Is that even possible? So many question but they cannot be answered.
I need a release, to feel like I am here; that I have emotions. My smiles never hold true, my laugh always short and the feeling happiness always sliced in half. Then the time comes where I hide, hide from the world that doesn’t notice me. It’s hard to come out of there.
1 comment
I can relate.
I believe it’s important to feel the way you do, to have so many questions. It’s something that everyone should embrace. There are some people who never get to question their own existence..some are born into and dwell eternally into a made up world, made up for them. Some can only embrace their own superficial needs. But to question the big questions, and to rationalize a sense of inevitability of hopelessness..that’s who we all want to be inside. We need to know that there isn’t answers..to reassure us that we are still human. To leave room for growth.
Do we really want answers anyways? Would we accept them? Or would they prove not to be enough to burden ourselves with less?