I did something that was really hard for me yesterday. I went car shopping. Only to find out the money I had was no good and you need at least 5,000 dollors to put down on a car to get anything worthwhile that will last a while. Just another way society just points at me and says you don’t belong here. Your money is not useful like everyone else’s. No one needs you. You’re a nuisence, get out. All those things pop into my head when I try to do anything. Seriously feeling like getting the amonia from the closet and drinking it. I can’t find any peace in my life or anywhere I can go. I hope I don’t get band from this website when I’ve been band from countless others. Society rejects me in its entirety even other suicidal people don’t want to hang out with me. Death seems like the only idea that will solve everyone’s hatred of me. Especially my husband and son’s hatred of me. Termoil fills my home I really wish I didn’t make everyone so angry all the time. I don’t know what to do. I wish I had a home worth looking forward to comming to, filled with people who love me. But that is something I’ve never had and probably will never have.
7 comments
No you don’t need 5000 to put down on a “decent” car. Theres lots of options. Im guessing you went to a used car or a new car dealer. Although you can put down about 2000 or maybe less for a decent used car with okay credit. You can get a used car for about 3000 from a private seller that can be a decent make and model. If you want a really cheap good car go for a salvage. The issue with salvage cars is they have been totaled and if they ever get hit again the insurance company won’t give you much because a salvage car has low low value. Salvage cars are cheap though and just as good as a used car minus the drop in value due to being totaled before. The car market is not limited to dealer~ Just if you only have 1000-2000 don’t expect to find a gem in a pile of used up cars with issues. Sometimes if you know what to do you can repair a car with an easy fix. Like people who sell their good cars cheap because the computer is “broken” and is expensive. You can normally get a used computer module for your car cheap and o ly pay a mechanic to install it, normally a mechanic will charge up to 5000 to buy and install one for you. Worse part is its usually not the computer….most of the time the sensors on the module get dirty or break. Cheap fix.
All hope is not lost in the car market.
thanks but it doesn’t matter cause I hope to be dead soon anyway.
Cognitive distortion, magnifying. Im this case magnifying an unpleasant car shopping experience as being social rejection among other things. Well I’m sorry for trying to help. Have fun.
Let me tell you something :
The universe, the society doesn’t care about us, society doesn’t point at you and say you don’t belong here. It doesn’t point at you and say you do belong here either.
I am sure you have either heard things like these before or you will:
“No you are a good, lovable person”
“People don’t hate you”
and etc.
Let me tell you something, it’s not true, but the converse is not true either.
What you and everybody has to realize is that we are not as special as we think.
Neither in a good way nor in a bad way.
You can change everything about your yourself if you just let go of this notion that there even exists a “you”!
You are a mosaic of attributes, that can be changed.
I don’t want to say “you” are capable of changing how you feel, I want to say everybody is you included.
GOD, fuck you all, I come on here for comfort and all you guys can hurl at me is insults. These comments are just further proof of rejection. Doesn’t matter doesn’t matter. NEXT TIME I TRY TO KILL MYSELF I WON”T POST ABOUT IT HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL NON-SUPPORTIVE AHOLES.
Why are you so angry?
The lord still ain’t buying anyone Mercedez Benzes….