Any time in my life that I have ever had a cold or the flu, my parents are the first to care for me. They make me soup, take me to the doctor, buy me medicine, and do everything in their power to get me to the healthy person I was days before. They always treat me so well and understand that this illness is not my fault.
When I have a cold, my nose runs and I cough a lot.
When I have the flu, I throw up and have a fever.
These are symptoms that my parents can clearly see.
Mental illness, on the other hand, is invisible most of the time. There’s no mouth swab or blood test to confirm that you suffer from debilitating anxiety, depression, eating disorder, etc. To someone who has never experienced it with such intensity, “anxiety†is just the feeling you get before a job interview. I hate saying this because it never sounds right, but I am sick. I haven’t had a fever, my nose hasn’t been running, and I haven’t been coughing, but I’m pretty sure this illness is worse than any cold or flu I have ever suffered. Since my parents can’t see it, they don’t understand it. This is such a frustrating fact for me and it has really held me back from getting the help I need.
I just wish society would understand that your mind can be sick and it’s not your fault. Much like your stomach can be sick and it’s not your fault. In fact, I’ve made really good choices in life and I would consider myself an upstanding and intelligent citizen, however I suffer from multiple mental illnesses.
I’ve starved myself for days.
I’ve lost track of the amount of times I threw up in one week.
I’ve cut myself, I’ve even carved words into my skin with a razor.
I’ve been awoken in the night to panic attacks.
My anxiety has reached such unbearable levels that I’ve considered suicide often.
I guess maybe it’s just me, but I would trade any of those things for a cold or the flu any day.
My parents solution? Just stop. Eat. Calm down. Be happy.
This is why I suffer in silence, I’m afraid of being misunderstood.
Sorry, that’s my rant for the day.
1 comment
There is medicine. I promise you. There are pills, they can help “even you out.” I do not believe the pills are a good route. There are other avenues. Look around here, try something new.