Pink Ribbon scars will never forgive -_-

I sit here and I stare at my arms. why why did I do what I did these scars will never go away burning cutting mutilating myself to bits to pieces. It feels so good when the razor goes so deep I am so thin that there is nothing but bone not flesh I once was a cutter I once was so unhappy I would burn myself with cigarettes I now fill thy void with alcohol. Last night and today was the first time in a year and a half that I self mutilated myself sometimes we deal with things in the most incorrect manners I never was a cutter as a teenager surprising I handled all the torment well but at 18 is when the brink of all my bottled issues came about today has been a rough day I sat here since 10 am drinking myself silly thinking of the poor choices I made and how I lost someone I cared for who no longer wanted to deal with the immaturity the lying the BS I sit here I ponder I think is all of this self hatred self abuse regret really all worth it I do hope that someone will read this and can conjur up some kind words of advice