Cancer is a *****. It ruins every fucking thing there is in life. When you hear that someone you care about has cancer, you loose it. I fucking broke a coffee table and punched a window. A FUCKING WINDOW. And then, after your friends family spends basically all their money on treatment, cancer keeps living. Why? Why the fuck does this happen?
I’ve fucking lost it, I’m so goddamn incapable of doing anything right now. I don’t know whether I should just kill myself or just run away again. I can’t stand the looks I get and all the motherfucking people. I’m just done. I can’t do this anymore, and this time I mean it. I want to do something with my life, but I can’t. I’m so motherfucking hopeless, and it’ll all be ruined again anyways. Why do I even try to get better? It’s not like there’s anything worth living for anymore. Mother fucker, screw it. I physically cannot take life. I’m just gonna get drunk and hope I die.
Have a nice motherfucking life, you amazing creatures. I really hope you can make it through this unfair world, because I will be so goddamn proud of you.
The problems that make permanent damage, but don’t have an accountable origin which to attack, are just the worst. It sucks when bad things just come out of nowhere and fuck everything up. One might argue that cancer has discoverable origins, but there are so many types, and so many possible causes, and so much out of control stuff being done to the environment, it’s hard to assign its blame to any particular thing. It could be anything from natural mutation, all the way to an evil conspiracy by a controlling globalist regime.
But thrashing around and breaking shit (and hurting yourself) isn’t going to heal anyone, or stop it from happening to anyone else.
This happens, essentially, because the world built by those who came before us, was built wrong. I realize that sounds quite vague, but that’s the source of the problem, regardless of which particular vector it takes.
Sleepless, I know what you’re feeling, more than you can imagine. Somehow, don’t ask because I have no clue, I managed to channel all that self-destructive fury into something positive for others. It didn’t do much for me, but whatever. I don’t know if my story is of much use to you, but I hope you figure something out.
Just because you have cancer doesn’t make you any less, you’re still beautiful no matter what and yes people will look because its sad no one wants that for anyone cancer isn’t fun, but you can beat it and when you do everything will fall in place. It’s so normal to be depressed and hopeless when you are sick but there’s so many ways you can get help, and everyone will be so damn proud of YOU for doing so
@people_do_care I don’t have cancer. My best friend has cancer, and she just died. She was the most beautiful thing on this holy fucking earth.
@clevername I know that breaking stuff won’t fix anything, but I jsut don’t deal with grief. It’s stupid I know, but that’s how I deal.
Well that one piece of info changes things a bit. I think it’s perfectly excusable to smash shit when your best friend dies. It might not be helpful or constructive, but i wouldn’t call it stupid.
@clevername The treatment didn’t help and I just feel so done with everything. Just sitting and watching your best friend go through that, you feel so useless.
Dying is a part of life, of course you’re going to grief I watched my grandpa die from cancer at only 60 and I missed him but I knew he wasn’t in physical pain anymore