You look back and think damn what has happened that broke my soul down to nothing. I have been thinking about my family by 3 yr old son and my few close friends about how they are gona deal with this, And I honestly don’t care I have never been a mean person and I love my family and son but I have to put myself first once in life and end the pain I have for me, Has anyone else felt this way ? that it dosent bother you if you hurt your family anymore.
l
7 comments
It’s really sad but yeah it’s hard to care about anyone when you don’t care about yourself. I know somewhere there’s a vague sense of love but I just feel that sensation so minimally for myself that it’s almost impossible to feel it for anyone else, even when I see traits in them that are “lovable”.
One thing I’ve always been glad of is that I haven’t had any children, although the pain I’d give my parents will be great, I have no dependents. I have no idea how hard this must be on you but I’m pretty positive even if I had a child, it’d still be hard for me to go on. But I do sure hope you’ve thought hard about your child growing up and all they’ll have to endure without you. I’m sure you’ve thought about that all so I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel bad, it’s just sometimes I think parents don’t really consider that as much as they should. Suicide is called “selfish” but I think we have the right to be selfish sometimes. Parenting requires the ultimate selflessness so I’m sure you’re feeling overwhelmed right now. I wish I could take away some of your burden so you could be there for your son indefinitely.
Were you suicidal before you had your son or has it just surfaced recently?
since about 10 im 23 now a lot of physical and sexual abuse from a young age very violent that really dosent bother me its in the past but I always have felt skidish and anxiety ive been on prozact celexa rimeron and Zoloft nothing really helped to be honest all were under doctor supervision I just cant believe I have been stripped of emotion. its like my mind has been cracked opren
I’m so sorry to hear that 🙁 you probably have PTSD or anxiety due to all that abuse and I wish you could talk to my therapist and receive neurofeedback. She’s quite amazing at dealing with PTSD. Have you ever talked out these events with anyone? Most people who suffer trauma don’t want to relive it right away and some never want to talk about it but I’ve been told that after awhile people open up about it and feel a whole lot better getting it off their chest. I hope something can turn around for you and you can feel whole again. For your family, your son, and most of all for you. Do you think there’s an ounce of hope that therapy and pills combined could help. I’ve heard studies saying pills are about as a effective as CBT but the effects of CBT last longer.
CBT? never heard of that
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I think therapy should always be looked at before suicide! And acupuncture and all that crazy stuff! Therapy has helped me some and I’ve yet to try acupuncture and changing my diet helped a whole lot. Please try everything to improve your situation before giving up!!! I know it sounds hokey and like it’ll never work, but you really will never know unless you try.
I have felt that way before. I love my kids so much that if anything happened to one I could not go on. I love them so much they are the only things that kept me going for many years even tho I was in so much pain and hating myself so much. But after a lot of years going on like that I reached a point where I just could not take it anymore and it wasn’t enough to stop me all I could care about was ending it. Now I am glad that I didn’t. Oh I had an abusive childhood to physical, sexual, starving and so much other crap. I don’t know if that is what really caused me to get really low like that I think its my body dismorphic disorder that was causing me to want to end things the most, causing me the most pain. Hmm but maybe it was all the abuse that caused the body dismorphic disorder. I wish I could say something that could help you feel better but idk what i could say except to say I noticed even tho i want to be alone sometimes when I am down I know that it makes me worse so I try not to do that anymore, and I try to keep myself distracted a lot to keep from thinking so many bad thoughts. I hope you can find your way out of this
I often feel the same. I don’t have children, only a partner who really cares for me. I only feel for the person who will find my dead body, it must be a big trauma when you find someone after suicide.