The click of a trigger

All of my problems have only got worse as I get older not money, relationship or living situation, I mean my mental thoughts on a day to day basis ive been to 3 physc wards in patient over the years I have attempted twice carbon monoxide and pills. the only conclusion I have decided is to grow a pair and pull the trigger on my 9mm berretta im not sure at what spot of the head to aim it so I must research Im not religious I have a great loving family that has never let me go without anything I just hope that I I have the mental couragr to just pull the trigger back and I don’t live with half a head , Does anyone one know the best place of the head to place the barrel ? and dose the brain live for a short time or should it be instant I dnt want to be talked down im just trying to get info  the placement of the gun.